Woman to woman: PLEASE DO NOT tell that man what you’ve been through. Privacy Is Protection . I ran into a random guy a few days ago at the grocery store. We struck up a conversation, and while we were walking past the flower section, I said, “Get your girlfriend some flowers. Make her day and take her on a date.” He said, “I don’t buy her flowers or take her out.” In a state of shock, I asked, “Why?” And he said, “The last guy didn’t, so why should I?” That was a lesson in NEVER TELLING A GUY HOW YOU WERE TREATED IN YOUR LAST RELATIONSHIP because he will do the same, probably worse. Instead, ask him, “What’s the worst thing you’ve seen your mum endure?” I want to make this clear. I’m not saying never talk about your feelings, bottle everything up, or that men don’t care. I’m saying don’t trauma dump on a man who hasn’t shown emotional safety. I’m not saying ALL MEN or that there’s no man who will treat your heart with care because there is. Some will listen and move with care, while some will listen just to put you through the same thing. A lot of people aren’t healed; they’re just distracted. When you give unhealed people access to your wounds, they don’t protect them, they repeat them.
Discernment is self-respect and key. Privacy is protection. Girl, I won’t ever do it again because it sucks. As far as I’m concerned, in my last relationship, I didn’t tell him what I had been through. My last relationship was with a man who treated me like royalty. He protected, provided for, and spoiled me mentally, physically, and emotionally. The only reason we aren’t together is because his father wasn’t in support because I’m a Yoruba girl. It was hard for him to let me go. His mum called me, and that was the main reason I gave up totally. She said, “I accepted your relationship with Kelvin. Even if I accept it, his father wouldn’t. I know my husband. He’s a man of his words and hard-hearted, yet still kind.” I just sighed and said to myself, “In this 21st century, people are still biased against one tribe.” Real men show up. My point is that your pain shouldn’t be the entry fee to being treated well. A man should treat you right because of who he is, not because of what you’ve been through. I would say stop dating clowns and accepting less than what you deserve. Real men make your life easier. Cl0wns bring confusion. Not everyone who listens has good intentions. Please, I learned the hard way. Don’t bleed in front of a shark.
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