I met my ex-boyfriend in May last year at a wedding. He asked me out, and we began dating. At the beginning, everything felt right, but as time went on, I started noticing that he was not a consistent person. Deep down, I saw the red flags, but I was too in love to truly acknowledge them. Our relationship became a rollercoaster. I tried several times to break up with him because of his inconsistency and what I believed was a lack of sincerity. Each time, he would apologise and promise to change, and I held on to those promises because I wanted to believe in him. One thing that always bothered me was how closed off he was. He hardly opened up or shared things with me. Then, around October, he told me he wanted to relocate abroad for his studies. I supported him, but I later realised he had already started the process before telling me. It felt like he only told me when he needed help. Even though I was initially upset, I chose to let it go because I didn’t want to seem unsupportive. I stood by him and even went as far as borrowing money to help him fund his plans.
That showed how much I was willing to sacrifice for him. Before he left, we had a misunderstanding, and he blocked me on both WhatsApp and Instagram. I had to find another way to reach him, using a different phone, just to apologise, even though I knew I wasn’t entirely wrong. Eventually, he unblocked me on Instagram but kept me blocked on WhatsApp. Communication between us became almost nonexistent. The most painful moment was when he left Nigeria without telling me. I only found out after he had already arrived abroad, when he sent me a message on Instagram saying he had landed. I was genuinely happy for him because he achieved what he wanted, but I was deeply hurt that he didn’t think I was worth saying goodbye to or creating one last memory with. Since he left, he has barely communicated with me. He has only called me once in over 6 months. I tried repeatedly to reach out, but he rarely responded. Eventually, I stopped texting because I realised the relationship was over; he just didn’t have the courage to say it.
What hurts even more is that whenever I ask for the money I lent him, he turns it against me, calling me bitter and saying hurtful things. This is someone I was loyal to, someone I always put first. Throughout our relationship, he never spent money on me. He was always broke, and I was always understanding. I never asked him for anything; I handled my own responsibilities. Now, I’m left hurt and struggling to understand how someone I gave so much to could treat me this way. The hardest part is that, despite everything, I’m finding it difficult to let go.
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