I just want clarity. So, I met someone a few months ago. From the beginning, our communication has been good, open, honest, and real. He is hardworking, has his own company, and from everything I’ve seen, he’s not lazy or irresponsible. I genuinely like him. He has shown care, effort, and he has also supported me financially in the past without me asking. He has taken me out on lunch dates and he has brought food and fruits to my workplace on several occasions. I’ve never demanded those things, he did them on his own, so I’m not coming from a place of “he has never done anything for me”. Also, just to be clear, I have never once asked him for money or for anything at all. I’m not the type to depend on someone. I know how to take care of myself and I’ve always been content managing what I have. I didn’t ask him to bring food, I didn’t ask him to send money, he did those things willingly. I truly appreciate that, but I’ve always been someone who likes standing on my own feet. My salary isn’t much, but I’m managing because I’m still figuring out my life and working towards something better. However, recently, for the past few days, he has been asking me for small amounts of money like ₦10k here and there,
and I don’t know how to feel about it. On one hand, everyone can have tough moments, and needing help isn’t a crime. On the other hand, I’m a naturally giving person, so I’ve always tried to help people I care about, but I promised myself this year to be more careful because sometimes people take advantage of that kindness. I work and what I earn isn’t enough to comfortably handle all my bills. I’m managing and honestly I’m even considering taking another job because the stress versus the pay doesn’t balance. So when someone I care about keeps asking, it makes me feel somehow, not because I don’t want to support him but because I don’t want to wake up one day and realise I was emotionally attached while someone was slowly using me. He has a project he says will pay off by soon and he has promised to repay what he borrowed. I believe he intends to, but this morning again I woke up to another request and it triggered a pause in my spirit like “wait, what exactly is going on?” I don’t want to panic where there is no problem. I don’t want to misjudge him, but I also don’t want to ignore early signs and end up hurting myself emotionally or financially.
I’ve heard stories of people forming closeness just to collect money in bits, and I never imagined I’d be in a situation where I’d even question that, but here I am, confused and trying to think clearly. So please, I need objective advice. Am I overthinking this? Should I keep supporting him since he has supported me too? Or should I set boundaries before this becomes a pattern? Does this seem like genuine need or a subtle red flag? I’m not desperate for a relationship. I just want something sincere, balanced, and healthy, not a situation where I’m drained emotionally and financially while giving loyalty to someone who may not deserve it. Please, I would really appreciate your honest opinions. Thank you so much.
Also Read: My Husband Ignores Me But Give Other Girls Attention