I found out my boyfriend is cheating with the girl he told me not to worry about. The girl literally posted pictures of herself in his room on her story and instead of me blowing up and confronting him I’ve been gathering evidence, fxxcking him and acting like everything is okay which is unlike me because normally I’d bring it up and seek explanations. On the side I have this guy I literally have s€x dreams of. The guy has been on my matter for the longest. He even asked me out but I’ve been blowing him off because he is not the type of person I’d date normally in terms of age. He is a year older than me and I can’t deal with that age range. I won’t respect him but his body is very attractive if I’m being sincere. I’m only interested in fxxcking him and nothing else. It’s weird because the thought of me fxxcking him is not wrong in my head. I’ve been fantasising about it over and over. I’ve thought of all the ways it could go wrong but I literally don’t care. I love the riskiness of everything.
The hide and seek, the fun, it gets me excited. Funny how I’m not doing this to get back at my boyfriend for what he is doing. It’s because I just feel like we are not married, so why would I keep myself for someone who’s exploring when I have fantasies that I suppressed because of the relationship. I feel before getting married I should have at least explored all my s€xual fantasies so that during marriage my eye will stay in one place.
Also Read: Life Feels So Heavy Right Now