I’m sorry, this will be kind of long, but I’m dying inside and need help. I don’t have friends to talk to. I have been dating my boyfriend for five years, and he helped me through school and everything. After my school, I went for service, and after service, he said I should come stay with him. We talked about it, and I agreed. We’ve been living well, even though he has his flaws and I do too, but we have been making it work. Two days ago, I asked him about his plans for the future, and he said he doesn’t want marriage or children because he hates children. When I heard that, my heart started beating fast. I asked him why, and he said that is how he has always been. Why didn’t he tell me in the beginning? Why wait until I ask? Why allow me to fall in love? Throughout my school days and NYSC days, I turned down every single guy that came my way. I’m going nuts. He is 37 and I’m 28. Where do I start from?
How do I tell my mom the person I have been with for five years just wants to keep dating me with no marriage, family, or children? I asked him if I was not enough to change his mind, and he said I was the best thing that happened to him and he loved me so much. He wants us to continue living like this but no marriage and he won’t be ready even in the next ten years. He might change his mind but doesn’t know when. I clean, wash, cook every day, and take care of this man like a wife because he does the same and takes care of me in his own way. So what else does he want? We live together, so we already know each other so well. Oh, did I tell you guys that he has refused to see my parents and has refused to introduce me to his too? That was one of the reasons why I spoke out, only to find out his intention. I want to leave his house and move away to maybe Lagos or another city.
I need a job so bad because I have been applying and applying but not getting any response. I need a job to keep me busy because I really don’t want to mess around; I’m not built like that. I need advice, I need a friend, I need help. I’m going crazy. Oh, did I mention today is our anniversary, and he already planned we should go out and is acting like everything is fine? Oh God, where did I go wrong? Why be loyal and faithful to someone who has no future plan for us and neither does he want me to leave? I need help. Yesterday, when he was sleeping, I checked his phone, and he is not cheating, nor does he have another family anywhere. He is a disciplined person to an extent. I really love this guy and don’t know what to do. I want a family; he doesn’t. I can’t leave. I’m attached, and I don’t know how to leave.
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