My parents have been fully separated for some years now. It’s complicated, but my dad has been single-handedly funding me and my siblings’ education. It’s not easy for him, four kids in university, and he’s a salaryman. In all of these, my mum, whom we lived with during holidays, has always been financially unsupportive. She’d never consider helping us out with foodstuff and pocket money. Instead, she thinks we should be bringing in money for her. She says we “students have money”, the money you don’t give. She was not always like this; when we were younger, she handled most of our feeding and clothing, but since I was in SS3, she stopped, and somehow, she became too broke to fend for herself. She’s always asking for money; this is a woman that has a job. She didn’t lose her job; in fact, she only became active in church, and then suddenly her finances became bad. I can’t say for sure if she’s donating all her earnings to the church or not; she’s always saying she does not know what happened to her salary whenever I ask. It’s not physical; it’s spiritual.
She has completely let herself go, saying that was what her pastors advised. She gave out all her good clothes and chopped off her hair; she’s a shadow of her old self. Now for someone that can hardly take care of herself at almost 50, not to talk of her kids, she informed me now that she’s pregnant. For a pastor. I’ve been trying to process it, but it’s not processing. Who’s going to pay the baby’s bills? I have two younger ones that I try to take care of; I even paid their rent too. I’m only 22. I’m very disturbed and embarrassed; our family stories and situation are already a circus to others, even without this baby. She cannot afford a baby, neither can we her children that are struggling to come up ourselves. I can’t even look at her. I feel betrayed. Does this make sense?
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