I keep blaming myself every single day of my life, even since 2019. I was about 8 years old in 2013 when my uncle started with this act. I was naive and ignorant as a child then. He abu$ed me and always asked me not to tell anyone, saying that if I did, he would hurt me. Out of fear, I always kept quiet. Growing up for me became so wild because s€xual activities became nothing to me. This made me have a rough life, having multiple boyfriends and the likes. Fast forward to when I was 16 years old, I started dating this boy whose name is Kunle. He used to be my friend’s boyfriend. Later on, I found out that they broke up. About three months later, he started calling and buying me lots of gifts, even giving me money often. A few weeks before I was going to write my WAEC, I went to this guy’s house. We had s€x, and after then, we continued and had s€x about two more times. During my WAEC, I noticed that I missed my period. That was the beginning of all the problems. I then went to meet my so-called boyfriend and told him that my period was one week late. My boyfriend told me to wait till the end of the month before we decided what to do, oo.
Getting home, I said let me call him and tell him I got home safely. That was how his number started saying line busy. I texted him and noticed he had blocked me. I knew that was the end oo. All these were during my WAEC. I started crying and looking for solutions all by myself because there was literally nobody I could talk to. Sadly, we don’t talk about confidential things with each other in my family. I kept on living my life as a pregnant girl secretly. My mum started noticing, but I always denied it due to fear. Fast forward to when I was five months gone, I decided to go to my friend’s sister to explain things and see if I could get it terminated. I did not know that she was a human rights activist. They made me open up to them fully before they told me. The biggest mistake I made was telling them that my uncle was responsible for my pregnancy because I first wanted to get back at him for what he did to my childhood, and I also didn’t want them to ask me who was responsible and I wouldn’t be able to provide him. I keep regretting this all my life. The whole family got involved. Meanwhile, my uncle denied ever touching me since I was a child, and because of that, he didn’t come even when they invited him to the station.
My mum cried behind the police counter that day, and I felt like her cry was a cur$e on me. My dad wanted to take this case up, being a lawyer and a pastor too, but I don’t know why he later changed his mind and asked the police officers to drop the case, which they did. After about one week, they thought of terminating the pregnancy, but the cost was too much, and my dad later took it upon himself to take care of both me and my child after birth. My child will be 4 years old in December, and she’s a beautiful girl, but I still live with the regret and secret of not telling a single soul about her father. This thing hurts me every single day of my life. Meanwhile, Mr Kunle never came back to me, and he got somebody else pregnant two years after. That was in 2021, and she also gave birth to a girl. He’s now very rich, and his daughter is enjoying such a luxurious lifestyle, while my child, who is his firstborn, is here with me and my parents while I struggle to make ends meet. I’m now 20 years old, and I’m working to make ends meet, but I still regret my actions in life. Now I live with this guilt, and every time I wake up every day, I always h8te myself for doing whatever I did to my child. Right now, I’m at the point where everything feels too much for me to carry.
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