I have this male friend that I am close to. We were practically like a couple. We understood each other, played together, ate together, prayed together, talked about our future, enjoyed each other’s company, and could talk the whole day without getting tired or bored. I became so attached that I couldn’t do anything without including him, so I had a discussion with him, and he said he felt the same way. He always told me he liked me. He said he felt very comfortable around me, and whenever he was out of the house, he wanted to hurry back home to be around me because he didn’t feel that way with his other female friends. We were connected mentally, physically, psychologically, and were s€xually attracted to each other. He liked me, and I also liked him, but he never officially asked me out. One thing led to another, and we had s€x. Everybody knew he liked me. I encouraged him, supported him in my own little way, and cooked for him with my own money.
I gave my all to this friendship, and then, out of the blue, he told me he was getting married in a few months. This is someone who tried to sleep with me just a month earlier. I congratulated him, but I was broken and felt betrayed because I remembered telling him that we should take a break so we could give each other space to breathe. I also told him that if he was seeing or asking someone out, he should let me know, but he didn’t. Instead, he was still acting all lovey dovey with me. I was entirely selfless in this friendship and gave it my all. He was so possessive that he even drove away my talking stages by standing by my window whenever I was on the phone or interrupting me. Sometimes, he would even snatch my phone while I was on a call and end it. Yet, while demanding all my time and attention and acting romantic, he was hiding a whole relationship. When I asked him why he didn’t have the decency to tell me he was seeing someone else, he said he liked keeping his relationship private.
After congratulating him, we got talking, and that was when he mentioned that he really liked me and had considered me for marriage at some point. However, because we are age mates, he said I was his mother. Mind you, he is two years older than me. He also said I was too independent and that I despised men. He said I was a good person with a good heart and that my good side outweighed my bad side. When I told him how I felt about the betrayal, he laughed and said he was happy seeing the way I was reacting. It was at that point I realised that I was the only one investing in the friendship. Whenever I noticed a character trait he displayed that I didn’t like, I calmly called his attention to it, explaining that the next person might not tolerate it, so he should try to adjust. He once told me that none of his female friends could tolerate half of what I tolerated from him, and they couldn’t do half of what I did for him. I know I am not perfect, and I have actively been working on myself for some years now.
I gave him maximum respect. I felt betrayed because if he had told me he was actively seeing someone and planning a life with her, I would have taken a hundred steps back. I have decided to cut him off completely, but he keeps insisting that I can still be his female best friend, that his wife is his wife, and that he can’t let me go, blah, blah, blah. He wants me to continue cooking for him, but I have told myself that I will never go back there. He even wants to add me to his wedding planning committee so I can help him plan his wedding. Can you imagine that? He says I am pained because I am not the one he is getting married to. This is the same guy who chased other guys away. This betrayal hurts deeply because I was as open as a book in the friendship, while he was hiding a whole lot from me. He says I am acting childish for wanting to cut him off and that I am throwing away years of friendship because of this small issue. Like, you hid a whole relationship from me, and you call it a small issue?
I just want to go far away from him so I can properly heal and move on. I won’t let this change me from the person I am into a bitter soul. Am I a bad person for feeling this way? I’ve cried my eyes out. This betrayal hurts deeply. If he truly valued our friendship, he wouldn’t have done some of the things he did, knowing fully well what I had been through. He knew how protective I was of my space, but I opened it up to him. I gave him my heart, but he broke it, chopped it into pieces, blended it with a blender, and finally threw it into the gutter. This guy broke me sha. I know God will heal and restore me. He will make something beautiful out of the broken pieces of my life.
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