I hope everyone seeing this is doing well, and I really want to be helped and not judged. I am 22 years old. I started having sex at the age of 14, and since then it never stopped. My first sex wasn’t what I wanted, it was a man that manipulated me all because I was very naive. Since then I find it so hard to say no because I want to feel loved, and at the same time a part of me knows it’s wrong, but when a certain guy that has slept with me before or new calls me, I don’t know how to say no because I feel bad if I say no, but at the end of the day when I do it I start feeling so guilty. I’m really scared. There are days where I can sleep with two different guys. My parents are late, and I’ve been trying to sort myself out since I was 17. Men have really been taking advantage of me to the extent that one of the guys I’m seeing, before he gives me a dime, he begs to have unprotected s€x with me. I have no choice than to agree because I needed the money, and at the end of the day I would keep treating infection or feeling uncomfortable and very guilty or seeing my body and feeling unloved.
I want God to forgive me. I’ve battled with depression and serious anxiety. Sometimes I need someone to love me and I find myself giving my body to a man who doesn’t care because I feel that’s a form of love. It’s a lot, and I really need help on how to stop. Please, I want to stop, I want to step away from those things and be on my own, and I want to be able to ignore those calls and say no without feeling guilty, and I also want to abstain too. Please, anyone help me. The most painful thing is that I’m always meeting people with girlfriends or wives, and sometimes I wonder if it’s a curse. I want to have my own person instead of messing around with people with partners. I need help, please. Thank you.
Also Read: Stuck With Someone’s Boyfriend, I Really Like Him