Day two of no contact and he has no idea of my whereabouts. Last week, I was having a mental breakdown. My boyfriend was with me. Sometimes I don’t understand how I process emotions. He tried to make me feel better. I wasn’t just feeling good about everything. So apparently he went on with his day, gave me my space for some time. He came around again but I was being bitchy. He got mad and things got heated. I know I pushed his buttons. He left my place very angry, very very angry. We almost got physical, or I did get physical (I regret that). I didn’t try to stop him because I know I messed up. I had to let him be. The thing is, before he left, the argument was so heated, I called his mom which made him more angry and he said he’d never forgive me. Those words struck and he stormed out. He left some of his gadgets at mine. An hour later after he left, I just couldn’t function well with the tension in my space. I was torn between calling him or not. I did send him a text apologizing but it doesn’t make everything feel better.
I left to an undisclosed location, needed to isolate myself to self-reflect. He came by at my place. Currently no one is able to reach me but I can see their texts. I really want to apologize to him but I just can’t find the right words. I have cried so much from yesterday till now. My eyes are so swollen they hurt. If you ask me to describe how I feel, I can’t just describe it or find the right words. He sent a text asking my whereabouts and wanting to get his gadgets. Got a text from someone close to him wanting to know my whereabouts and how they are worried. Every time I replay the whole incident in my head, I feel so devastated how I escalated the whole thing. I plan on staying away for some days, give him and I some time away from each other to self-reflect. I don’t know what to do or how to go about it. So isolating myself was just the first thing that came to my mind.
Also Read:She Blamed Me For Being Insecure