So my story is a bit long, so y’all should please bear with me. I’ll be 20 by September but I’ve seen even what a 40-year-old hasn’t seen in a relationship. I started dating this guy when I got into school. I was 16 then and I would be graduating next year. I’m in my routine year now. So apparently, we dated for 4 years. Note: in between those 4 years, we’ve had so many ups and downs, and as much as I want to forcefully believe that it’s normal in relationships, ours isn’t even normal at all. We’ve broken up many times and gotten back together. I accept I’m not perfect. I’ve got my flaws too, but one thing I know I would never do is cheat on my partner. You know cheating isn’t only when you have sex with someone else, right? Flirting is cheating! Talking to some other person how you’ll talk to your partner is cheating. Hiding a chat so your partner won’t see it is cheating too! And within the 4 years of dating this guy, he did all of this and even more. Should I add that in just one week we got into a relationship, this guy texted his last fling telling her how much he missed her and everything about her? In just one week of dating!
It did hurt for real but I guess for four years I ignored all the red flags. This guy would cheat. He would manipulate me, and yes, he would still beat me on top. Sometimes he would beat me to the extent where I would bleed from my nose. Before you say I was in the relationship for money, I was the one literally feeding the both of us, and in my four years of being with him, this guy has never gotten me any gift, even on my birthday. But on Valentine’s Day and his birthday, I go all out for him. But during my turn, he’ll tell me to understand, and I’ll still understand. I was so attached to this guy, I would say because he was my first. He disvirgined me. I found myself always going back to him each time we broke up. One time we broke up for like two months, I tried dating someone else for that two months but it just wasn’t working. I found myself running back to him again and ending the relationship with the other person. Mehn, I won’t lie. It’s been one hell of a ride. I’m sincerely tired. Should I also add that this guy went behind my back to try to sleep with my best friend?
That really broke me. I’m not sure I can ever trust men again, coupled with the fact that I grew up in a broken home watching my dad always hit my mum and cheat on her too. It really traumatized me. So the last one that recently happened that totally broke everything off was that he posted a video of him buckling a girl’s shoe on his WhatsApp status and everyone on his contact list knows that we’re together. Just imagine the disrespect and see-finish. And then whenever I’m sleeping, this guy uses my phone to watch videos of naked girls. Like, I’m just mentally drained and exhausted. When I confronted him about it, he became manipulative and an argument started, and he started hitting me again. He gave me injuries and marks all over my body. Note: since this whole thing started, I’ve been living with him because I had a little bit of financial issues, so each time we have an argument, he threatens to throw me out. So I try not to say anything that will cause an argument. But I just couldn’t bear this one because it was so demeaning. And after beating me, he threw my things out. Sincerely, I don’t have friends, or rather, I just have one or two and they are distant friends.
I was so stranded that day, I finally gathered courage and texted that my distant friend and she allowed me to stay at her place for a while. But you know how it can be staying at someone’s place. She is already beginning to complain about little things and it’s making me uncomfortable. I just want to leave already and get my own place. But mehn, life is hard financially. Before you say I don’t have anything doing for myself, I make all kinds of beads. I do ushering jobs and I’m also interested in going into modelling. But you know, not every day business will go well and I send most of the money home. I’m just tired and don’t know what to do. Then I feel like my whole life was put on hold. Moving on is hard. He’s the only guy I’ve known my whole life. I got too attached. I cry myself to sleep most nights. It’s more like I can’t even breathe properly. I just want to distract myself with something, anything at all. It’s hurting for real. Four years gone just like that. Every man that crosses me is now unattractive in my eyes. It would take a lot to trust a man ever again. True true, good girl no dey pay. Before I fall in love again, eclipse of the sun go first happen.
Also read: Lover Girl Dey Suffer