I’m a girl in her early 20s. I’ve been in a 2-year relationship with a nice guy; he’s very sweet, almost perfect, I’d say, but I don’t find him attractive. I’m attracted to girls, and I don’t want to break his heart. Girls are just softer, more compassionate, and the love feels stronger. I’ve been struggling with this since I was 15, in boarding school. A girl had a crush on me, and it was mutual, but we never acted on it until we left school. When I was 18, I was visiting my dad in the U.S. and started talking to a girl I met. It felt like heaven—she was so sweet and kind. When I came back home, we ended things; it was really sad, but we had to because of the distance. No one knows about it, but I think about her all the time.
My parents always talk about my “dream wedding,” but I know I don’t want that. I met a girl a few months ago here in Lagos. She’s mixed, she’s really pretty, and she wants us to be more than friends. But I don’t want to leave my boyfriend for a girl—it won’t just break him; it’ll break my parents too. I’m the only girl in my family. I really don’t know who to talk to; I’m scared. When I go to bed, I have dreams about her; she’s in my head. When I think of long-term, I see myself with a girl. I know some people can relate, and that’s why I need advice.
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