Sometimes, I wonder why I’m never lucky with love. I get men that don’t deserve me. I’m a good girl who is well brought up. We didn’t have much growing up, but I grew up in love and God’s fear. So I’m filled with so much love naturally, and I do it effortlessly. I’ve had three relationships in the past, and one just ended today (also long-distance). It’s always one problem or the other. The first relationship ended because I perceived he was cheating, plus he was a Muslim and I’m a Christian, so I realized it wasn’t going to work. The second guy was abroad. I knew him when we were very much younger before he left the country, but throughout our dating time, we never met because he never came.
Till today, I still don’t know what I did to him that just made him ghost me out of the blues and unprovoked. My heart broke because it was t0rture not knowing what happened or what I did to him. Then the third came, and he was the love of my life. I’ve never loved someone that crazily in my life. I’d do anything for him as long as it was in my power to do. But I got cheated on severally; I lost count. He’d apologize, cry, and beg every time he cheated and got caught, and I’d sheepishly forgive him. I believed he loved me. He was so loving and sweet. Aside from the cheating, he was the perfect guy. And before you say I stayed because of money, no!
He was actually broke because my ex before him was way better financially, and he took care of me to an extent. So I had seen better days when it came to the money part, but I stayed because the love was genuine. He was smart, had potential, so I believed in him and that things were going to get better with time. But this guy wouldn’t stop cheating. He was a Muslim, and all the girls he cheated with were all Muslims. He claimed he was getting pressure from home to get married and was scared to take me home because of the religious difference and that he never wanted to lose me. It was a whole lot of back and forth before I decided to take my L.
It took me leaving the city we were in to a new place before I could even break up. Fast forward to now, I accepted to date this guy that has been on my neck for a long time. He is also abroad, but I knew him before he traveled. He wasn’t bad; he was sweet at first. It looked promising, but he’s so petty, omg. Acts like a woman, asking me for apologies when he’s wrong. So this time, I insisted I wasn’t going to apologize for sh!t because I should be the angry one and not him. This simple thing ended the relationship. Hmm, guys, I am very beautiful, curvy (pear-shaped), smart, kind, loving, educated, I cook fantastically well, I’m neat, my sexual life is perfect, and my character is on check.
I’m more of an introvert, I don’t smoke, I’m funny, I’m contented, I love God, and I’m everything that makes a good woman. I’m not trying to pride myself, but this is something that has been and can be confirmed by anyone that has met or known me, including my exes. This, amongst other guys, that I know just want to get down with me because I’m attractive. Or some will even take my contentment for granted and give me the bare minimum treatment. I’ve seen other girls who don’t even possess these qualities have beautiful relationships. I have a fashion design skill I learnt when I was in school. I wish to go to my dream fashion school here in Lagos to learn more and leverage on it, but I don’t even have enough money to do that. I’m young, not too young to marry, but I’m not desperate to get married or something,
because I still have things I want to achieve. I just want to experience that sweet and genuine love, the gifts, the thoughts, the happiness of being in love. Someone to support my dreams and help each other grow. Why can’t I have one? Why am I not lucky enough to date someone that truly deserves me? Because I swear if I were a man, I’d date me a million times. The question is, why? Hmmm, maybe sometimes, good girls truly no dey pay! Or maybe y’all just don’t deserve people like me. I’d focus on myself and continue to struggle to make my dreams come alive. Until then, bye guys.
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