I’m a woman, but I only desire men when I’m h0rny. Like, I think I’m hopelessly in love, want to spend the rest of my life with him, etc. But immediately after, I just h@te him. I don’t want to touch him. He becomes unattractive and irritating to look at. This only changes the next time I’m h0rny. Other than that, I don’t want to have anything to do with him. It’s not money either. I could meet a man who takes great care of me, and it is inevitably the same. I just can’t psychologically commit. I’ve met really great guys who want to cuddle, cook, and kiss afterwards, but I just get so irritated. I don’t know how to change this because I really feel bad about how mean I get afterwards, but I can’t help it. I don’t want hookups either because I don’t find them enjoyable. I need the intimacy and connection. I’ve been to therapy and tried everything, but all I feel for them is h@te and disgust afterwards.
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