Hi, guys. I trust y’all are doing well. Growing up, I used to brag that peer pressure, especially social media pressure, would not get to me, but as an adult, I’m ashamed to say it has gotten to me. Maybe it did back then, but I “ignored” it so it wouldn’t get to me. As an adult, I constantly feel that my life is hard and quite unfortunate. The one time I gave love a chance, it shattered my idea of love. My friendships never last. I don’t even get support from my family. I had to work to cover my expenses in school, and guess what? I lost the job. I tried a small business, but it has been yielding low sales. Personally, I’m suffering from low self esteem. For years, I haven’t posted on social media due to body shaming from my peers. Sometimes, I feel compelled to do so, but then, if I remember the amount of bullying average people suffer from netizens, I keep to myself. I actually hoped I would grow into my ideal shape as an adult, but I never did.
I just turned out to be tall and lanky. Worse still, I’m broke. I can’t even basically take care of myself as an adult female. I mean, basically. Each time I try to build my confidence as a woman, something weighs me down. It could be my family issues, financial situation, academics, love life, or body. There’s just always something. At some point, I developed apathy because that’s the only way I can escape my misery. It even makes me scared of keeping friends because I feel like I’m some kind of negative energy, and I don’t want to be a burden. I just want to gain my confidence back. I don’t want to continue being depressed. I hat€ how I reek of low self esteem and self consciousness. I can’t even go out. I’m not introverted. I discovered I never was; I just didn’t have the confidence. This is my rant. Thank you, guys.
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