I’m honestly confused and mentally drained right now. The full story is long, but I’ll try to keep it short and straight to the point. There was this girl I was talking to. We eventually decided to make it official and start a relationship. I had genuine intentions with her. I wasn’t playing games. Then she cheated on me. When I confronted her, she said the guy had promised to sponsor her career and help her grow, but I kept quiet because I’m still struggling myself, pushing my business, taking digital marketing courses, and trying to build something stable for my future. Who are you to block my progress? The man never fulfilled his promise anyway. Surprisingly, we didn’t break up immediately. We kept talking and later decided to try again and be serious this time. One random weekend, we decided to hang out and have fun. We got high, made out, and that same night she left my place and went to another guy’s house. I found out. That was it. We broke up for real. I didn’t hear from her again for two months. Then she called me and said she was pregnant for me. I’m 31, but I’m not financially ready to be a father. She knows this.
I’m still building my career. I’m not stable yet. She said she wasn’t going to remove it. She said she would keep the baby, and if I wasn’t ready to be in the child’s life, I shouldn’t worry and shouldn’t come back later to claim the child. I later realised she wasn’t joking. So I made a decision to be part of my child’s life. We started preparing, buying baby things and going for antenatal appointments together. At seven months, she quit her job because she said it was too stressful. She was earning ₦150k monthly. That money was helpful. I earn ₦250k monthly. It’s not small, but it’s not enough for everything happening right now. From eight months of pregnancy until she gave birth, I stayed with her. After delivery, I stayed another month before moving back to my place. It’s a baby boy. When he was born, he caught a cold. Doctors warned her during pregnancy to avoid certain things, but she was still secretly drinking cold drinks behind my back. Now my life feels paused. I don’t have time for myself. I can’t afford new clothes. My laptop has been bad for months, and I couldn’t even fix it. My career feels stuck.
Sometimes I feel mentally exhausted. I send her ₦25k every week. She says it’s not enough. This morning, I got angry. I sent ₦25k just three days ago. Now she says the baby is seriously sick, didn’t sleep all night, and she needs another ₦20k for hospital bills. The problem is, she has lied before just to collect extra money. If I truly have it, I will give it. I’m not w*cked. But sometimes I genuinely don’t have it. Transportation alone costs me about ₦60k monthly. Her rent just expired. Mine will expire in four months. I don’t even have ₦400k to renew hers. Now I’m thinking of moving her and the baby into my place while I move out to stay with a friend, just so they can have a roof over their heads. At 31, I never imagined this is where I would be. I feel trapped between responsibility and survival. I love my son. That’s not the issue. The issue is that I feel like I’m drowning financially and emotionally. Sometimes I ask myself, did I rush into responsibility out of guilt, or did I just step up like a man should? I don’t even know what to do anymore.
Also Read: Please Advise On A Better And Polite Way To Leave A Relationship