I have a very close friend who is a very beautiful, nice, and caring person, but she’s unhappy. In fact, she no longer talks to anyone. Last year, she broke up with her ex after a 4-year relationship. He started acting up for about a month, and when she asked him about it, it turned into a very heated argument that led to the breakup. Two months later, she found out another girl gave birth to his child. She almost went mad and cried for days because she had been there for this guy in every way, even to the extent that it affected her education. She couldn’t join others for the HND program because she had issues due to the stupid ex. She even had an ab0rtion that almost took her life. Later, she moved on and met someone else, but the relationship didn’t last 2 months. At that time, the ex was begging and all that, but she refused. Since then, she hasn’t been in any stable relationship; it always begins and ends in the talking stage.
Earlier this year, she met someone and said she wasn’t ready, but I convinced her to give it a try. She said she had given up on love, but I told her there’s nothing wrong with trying again. So, she gave the guy a chance, but unfortunately, it only lasted 2 months. I was surprised because this guy was so calm and did nice things for her. She even fell in love. Then, he started acting up, and she tried asking him about it because she’s very emotional and an overthinker. He sent up to 18 messages saying he didn’t want to continue the relationship. She was crying when she called me. I really feel sorry for her because she’s a very nice and caring girl who cooks well and is an introvert. I told her to let it go and move on. Afterwards, she met someone else but didn’t want any relationship again. The new guy assured her that he wouldn’t mess up. Two days after she accepted him, she told him she wasn’t interested anymore because she was scared of getting hurt.
The guy said she shouldn’t think like that and that he would be there for her. I was also in support because he seemed cool. After a month, she called me crying again because the new guy was acting up. She said the only issue she could point out was sex. She has this issue of not being able to have sex comfortably because her vaginal anatomy is different, making it impossible to enjoy penetrative sex. I asked if she told the new guy about it, and she said she did but didn’t give him full details. She only said she doesn’t enjoy sex, and the guy said it was okay and that he would be patient. Now, the new guy has ghosted her, and it’s really affecting her. Although she’s not begging him or forcing anything, she’s also returning the same energy, but deep down she is sad. She believes no one will love her. Now, all she does is post memes on WhatsApp, Instagram, and Snapchat.
Sometimes, she watches movies throughout the day and night. If you text her, she won’t respond. One of her friends texted me, asking if she is fine because she has refused to talk to anyone. Before you say, “Isn’t she loved at home?” Not everyone grew up with that motherly love and freedom, which is why her mom doesn’t know what’s going on with her. Instead, she shares her struggles with me and her bestie, who has always been there for her. Her dad is late. I’m really scared because she’s depressed and having suicidal thoughts with the way she talks to me. Please, do you have anything to say about this or advice for her? At this point, I don’t even know what to say. I was even thinking it’s spiritual because it’s too much. Her business has run down, and she’s the one feeding herself and paying her bills.
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