I’m in a two-year-plus relationship and I think I’ve finally damaged what’s most precious to me and I can’t just find a way back to how we were. I’m typing this with tears as I don’t know what to do anymore. She caught me cheating, she isn’t always around, she works and lives in another state, then late last year, I hooked up with a friend. She came for the holidays, checked my phone, and found out. I’m not the kind of person who deletes things because I haven’t had a reason to. There isn’t a single day I don’t regret it. I wish I had a little more self-control.
It’s really draining me and for the first time ever, I had to be admitted to the hospital. I couldn’t even go to work throughout this week. I really don’t know how to go about it plus communication has also been down due to work stress as I just got promoted recently. She said she has forgiven me but I know deep down she’s still really hurt. I’m LOST and I don’t know if she will ever truly forgive me. I just want us back to the way we were.