I just want to share my story as I was inspired by the story of the lady who got played by her ex. Sorry if my story will be too long. Well, right from time, my parents had always been against Ilorin guys despite being from Kwara State. But I’ve never been lucky with guys from other states. I met my ex 5 years ago; we were both classmates but we started dating two years ago. It wasn’t asking out stuff; we just clicked and started dating. Well, as usual, the beginning was beautiful. 6 months later, I got to know my ex had another relationship of 6 years with another woman, but he claimed they weren’t dating to marry ’cause she’s a Christian. I forgave him since he promised to break up with her; I didn’t know I was being played. On her birthday that year, he paid for her shoot, put her picture on his DP, and also sent her 10k, and told me he was broke; the picture spent 3 days there and was removed when I started complaining. I started dating my boyfriend when I was 19, and truth be told, I gave the relationship my all.
After two months of finding out he had someone else, he told me to learn a skill, a beautiful idea but from the wrong source. I found somewhere close to my house; he didn’t like it there, so he sent me to his friend’s girlfriend’s place to learn. Being brought up in a highly religious family, it was hard for me to give my virginity out like that ’cause I only wanted one body count; I loved my ex so much that I ended up giving in after 9 months of dating. I’m the kind of child that my parents don’t believe in staying in school during the holiday; my dad’ll ask you to come home. Whenever I go home, my boyfriend will tell me our relationship is on a break until I’m back; I do the texting, I do the calling, and he only replies when he wishes. Well, I endured; my bestie tried making me see the red flags, but I shunned her; I’m grateful she didn’t leave even when I asked her to. Last year was my final year as a student; I was still learning my skill, but it was with a lot of insults directly and indirectly.
My ex wasn’t supportive; anytime I had issues with my boss whether I was at fault or not, my boyfriend would yell at me, call me an impatient person, and that I had no tolerance. He was always body-shaming me indirectly; he said I was too slim; and that I should add up a little bit. I tried some weight gain drugs I could afford at that moment, but it didn’t work; I became ashamed of my body; I felt my boyfriend wasn’t proud of me, so I needed to upgrade. At some point, he said I should leave the work if I was tired; he’s not interested in anything that concerns me with the work since I’m becoming problematic, and it was actually in the presence of his friend that he told me all that. I skipped school ’cause my boss said school wasn’t important as we had plenty of work to do; I missed tests, presentations, and a few classes; I was bitten by mosquitoes and didn’t eat well, but I couldn’t complain since I’m not patient. My boyfriend never for once gave me Tfare to my workplace; thank God my parents do give me Tfare monthly,
and I had a part-time job, so I managed myself. All this while, my boyfriend was in two ladies’ DMs. He claimed he was broke to me, but every day he visited these ladies and they came to visit him; my ex bought them anything they wanted and treated them well. One of these ladies was pregnant, a single mum; my ex followed her to antenatal twice; he was always going to her house and taking care of her; people thought it was my boyfriend’s pregnancy. I challenged my boyfriend concerning them; he was furious, saying he was tired of my insecurities, and that I was being selfish. We see in school, you chat with me and we call each other; what else do you want? I apologized; I felt he was right; at least he didn’t stop the relationship even though he was distant. I was always begging him whenever I wanted to see him outside school; even inside school, he told me no romantic gestures; no one should know we were dating, so we rarely communicated in school. Well, long story short, the exam came; I couldn’t do well like I wanted ’cause I was stressed out with work.
During the holiday, my ex broke up with me, saying we’ll continue when school resumes. School resumed for the final semester; my boyfriend still claimed he broke. I wasn’t bothered since I had parents and I work too. Everything I needed for my FYB, I got myself, so I pleaded with my boyfriend to give me 2k for makeup ’cause I had exhausted my savings and couldn’t get money anytime soon. He said why spend money on a week’s madness when you know you won’t be able to afford all expenses. He didn’t give me and ghosted me throughout the whole FYB week, and I wasn’t upset. He chatted with me, claiming he had some stuff he was settling, and called me sweet names, and as usual, I succumbed. Don’t ask me about my apprenticeship, oh my fans ’cause when I wanted a certificate, I was told by my boyfriend, his friend, and his girlfriend that I can’t collect the certificate ’cause I didn’t spend the 1yr we agreed on; I was always going home during the holiday. Naso I was used, oh, my stress, my money, my pains, the insults, the bully, everything went off like that.
I still wasn’t angry. Our pregnant girlfriend delivered, oh, you all won’t be able to imagine the number of people who called my boyfriend to congratulate him as baby daddy; he had to post the girl’s VN on his status that he’s not the baby’s father. You could imagine how stupid I felt. But I couldn’t do anything as per say I didn’t want to have another body count. Eyin fans mi my dear EX broke up with me a week to my birthday this year, oh. I couldn’t be more grateful. Do you know why? ‘Cause I won’t leave if he didn’t leave. No be say I no get my flaws, oh, I’m hot-tempered and tend to yell my feelings out when I’m upset. And I got sick often. So you can call me sicky sicky baby. I’m trying to move on anyways; I’ve continued my skill somewhere else with the help of my parents, and I’m slowly becoming proud of my slim shape. It’s not like some of us endure shit in relationships; some of us didn’t want another body count. I still feel sad about it though, but I’m grateful I’m not in that toxic space again. I pray I find genuine love again. But for now, all I want is peace of mind.
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