Looking back at my life, I just want to appreciate God for my growth, and I will advise my gender to not underestimate ourselves. I saw a post about a 20-year-old being abused, and she’s saying she didn’t want her body count to increase and still cheat. Most ladies end up suffering because of money or they don’t want their body count to increase and want to end up with whoever deflowered them. I was also among those people, but I’m glad I learned my lessons. I dated my ex for almost 5 years before we broke up. During those 5 years, there were a lot of girls he dated. I was 18 then; he wasn’t my first date, but our relationship was serious. He was the one who deflowered me, and I was so naive then and so in love and loyal that I trusted my ex so much. If anyone told me anything about him or said stuff about men, I didn’t used to believe he was among them.
A girl once came to my DM and told me a lot about my ex, but I didn’t even believe, and he himself told me stuff about the girl. I guessed I didn’t think for myself then and listened to whatever he said. But a cheater will always be a cheater, and I started seeing a lot of DMs with girls, and I always ended up crying when I went through his phone. We both treated an infection then that I even thought I gave him, but I was heavy on cleanliness. Whenever I remember about my ex, I regret whatever I did, but it was love then, and I was young. I don’t discuss my relationships with anyone. My mum is late, and I’m the first daughter; I don’t really have people to talk or advise me then. The day we both exchanged FB passwords, I cried. The boy was so childish and a playboy, saying stuff about me to his friends, and they talked about different girls. I started seeing things differently, and he used to tell me that he’s not even ready for marriage. I wasn’t ready either.
He would say if I see anyone serious, I can leave him. I used to cry then because I had already pictured my future with him. I hold my body in high esteem that I couldn’t even think of seeing someone else or having anything to do with anyone then, even though guys used to ask me out, but I was just loyal. Fast forward to when he gained admission in 2020. We were both sad. I normally buy him provisions if he’s going to school. I was still fully committed in the relationship, but my ex, not him, 2 months in school, he already had a girlfriend. They didn’t even last because not everyone is like me. This boy is not even rich. I’m not a materialistic girl. I don’t like asking guys for money. He gives whenever he wishes. Girls he cheats with, he always ends up running away from them due to billing. This boy broke my heart and hurt me a lot, and I was still with him. I was still not upset. I still loved him. He wouldn’t communicate whenever he was in school. No call and text for sometimes weeks, and he always gave excuses.
But whenever he’s back, he would always want us to see, and I always went. But whenever we’re together, I’m always upset and angry because of all he had made me go through. January of the year we broke up (2023), he went to school as usual, and I made up my mind to not communicate with him again. I started reasoning all I had condoned all in the name of love. I was so hurt and broken. I then invested myself more in my craft, and I didn’t want a relationship again. I was so into my craft, and I didn’t have his time. My phone got stolen; he didn’t know and didn’t communicate with me. I bought a phone myself and didn’t allow him to know I was online. The day I made it obvious to him that I was online, he wanted to start entering me again, but I started showing him attitude and didn’t give him face again because those periods he left me, I was on my healing process and was more focused on my work. A few months later, I told him I wanted us to break up.
He thought I was joking because we had never broken up before. He knew once we break up, I can’t ever come back to him. He couldn’t believe I told him about all he has made me go through. He apologized and told me he couldn’t keep me and how I’m a good girl that he prays I get someone better. He even wanted us to see when he came around, but I declined. That was when he knew I meant my words. I haven’t seen him since then. It was the right decision but somehow hard, but it didn’t really affect me because I was used to being lonely. I didn’t believe I can leave him. Now I get irrit@ted whenever I remember him. I was a good person, but my ex played me and took advantage of me. He did a lot of disg#sting things. I’m sharing this today to ladies that don’t want their body counts to increase: don’t underestimate yourselves; we can do better.
Some men will make you feel like they are the prize, like there’s none as good as them. A lot of ladies are still on that level that they must marry who deflowered them, but what if you guys aren’t meant to be together? There are still good people, and virginity is not the key to a successful marriage. And to ladies that cherish their bodies, you can stay single, but you will definitely meet someone that will love and cherish you and won’t take advantage of you. There are still good people out there, and I pray we meet people with good intentions.
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