I broke up with my first boyfriend in 2024. The reason for the breakup was that, during my 300-level exams, we were having issues. He had losses in his business, and I wasn’t present. He was upset that I wasn’t asking about the money he lost and how he would sort it out. I apologised, and we agreed that we would talk about it after my exams since there were just a few days left and I had complained about my grades. So, he said I should just focus on my exams, which I did. Our communication wasn’t so good. I complained, and he said he was giving me space, which I understood. On the last day of my exams, the plan was to finish up and then go to his place. At the end of the exams, I picked up my phone to at least inform him that I was coming, but I got a breakup message. My heart sank. I still went to his place to apologise and plead. He ended things, actually. I was really heartbroken because I was deeply in love with this person. I didn’t have any previous relationship experience, so I was scared of not getting it right.
I told him about it, and he said we’d grow together. It was nice at first. We weren’t having s€x in the relationship because I was a virgin. Until two months in, things turned sour. We were always having issues. I took accountability for how everything went sour, and I apologised profusely for over a month. He still left. I was badly hurt, but he didn’t take accountability for anything at all. He blamed me for everything and just kept telling people that I didn’t love him. So, I decided to let him be. We officially went our separate ways in November 2024. In 2025, he started texting again. No month went by without him texting me, insisting that he wanted to be cool with me, which I refused. I kept telling him that I didn’t want to be friends with him, and I asked him why he would want to be friends with me after saying I didn’t love him. He didn’t stop until I told him that I was involved with someone already, although I wasn’t dating the person; it was just a talking stage. He got so furious and upset that I didn’t wait for him, blah, blah, blah.
I didn’t say anything. My talking stage failed. He texted again, saying that we should fix things, and he was consistent and genuine. We decided to meet, and we tried having s€x, but I stopped because it was too painful. A few days later, he started giving late replies. I didn’t want to ask why because no person in their right mind would start giving late replies without a tangible explanation in the middle of a reconciliation they truly wanted. So, I texted him, saying he should move on with his life and leave me out of it. All this happened around November 2025. It’s 2026, and my mind is truly not happy with this person. It’s not that I want to get back with him, not at all. My heart is filled with so much anger and resentment that, after everything, there wasn’t even a single, “I’m sorry for how everything went.” But for one month, I apologised for what I didn’t even understand. Whenever I remember him, I still weep. He took away the innocent idea I had of love.
It took me over a year and some months to heal. My friends were tired of talking to me. My heart is so bitter towards this person that whenever I recall the incident, I utter words, not to ruin his life, but saying things like, “He will experience the pain I went through, and he won’t have peace.” I pray God heals my heart. I’m not even sure I’ve healed completely. I don’t know if there’s a way I can fully let go. I will be happy to hear it.
Also Read: Staying in Bad Relationships Due to Failed Parenting