I was molested when I was young, which made me hyper sexual. I was molested by six to seven men, and it made me feel dirty. When I was in JSS2, I had sex from age 13 to 14, and I stopped. I was doing a lot, thinking that sex could keep a man and all, because they would say I am so sexy and all. So when I entered university at 19, I had sex again with this guy. He was very nonchalant afterwards, which made me very harsh towards men. For a while, I did not have sex. Now I am 21, my body count is 14, and it is messing with my mental health. Men will come like they mean well and end up sleeping with me, then start acting up, knowing fully well they could have left me alone. I lack boundaries. My body is so familiar with sex that I cannot even say no. I had sex with this guy, he was very rough and ended up bruising my pelvic. I have gone to the hospital for multiple check-ups, it shows I am okay, but I feel terrible pain when I have sex. Now, I want to start my celibacy journey, if possible go for as long as I can. You will think one more will not hurt, but it does mentally. I think about it every day. I do not rest. I get scared that those guys will come in the future and say they have had sex with me and spoil my name. I know I am a disgrace and disappointment. I am tired, even my body is tired. I need help. I too want to get married, but I do not think it is going to happen.
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