Did I make a mistake by turning down a guy who asked to borrow money from me twice? So, this guy used to ask me out back in the university, but we didn’t date because I was in a relationship then. Fast forward to this year, we started talking on my birthday, and he found out I was single. Then he started talking to me about a relationship. He was actually love bombing. We started talking on the 2nd, and he said he would ask me out on the 7th of that same month. There wasn’t a bit of attraction on my end, but I decided to take things slow to see if the attraction would come. But this guy was just rushing things. He wanted me to say yes immediately. I told him I can’t rush in and rush out. Then he said, “Who knows, if I rush in, it could lead to marriage or get serious.” He got me birthday gifts: 2 bags, 3 pairs of slippers, and some dresses. I was shocked, but I told him the gifts were too much. He insisted it was a small thing for him to do. Then, the next day, he chatted me up to borrow N10k from me. I actually lent it to him, but it sounded funny to me because I felt he was testing me. I gave him the money since he said his bank app was having issues.
I then decided not to ask him for the money anymore, but fortunately, he repaid it. We were still talking, but he kept pressuring me about a relationship. There was a day he got angry because I didn’t allow him to order food for me. After I apologised, I told him he could send money for lunch since I was going to work the next day, because he kept saying what I was doing wasn’t good. But he just grumbled. After that week, he texted again, saying I should lend him money to get his certificate from school. I told him I didn’t have money, but he kept insisting, asking, “How much can you lend me?” I still said the same thing, that I didn’t have money. Then he kept insisting, asking how much I had. Later on, he didn’t update me about the certificate or if he ever got it, and I didn’t ask. Not long after, he started setting some rules: I should be informing him about my movements, when I wake up, when I leave work, and when I go to work, like all my movements. In his words, he wanted us to get used to that system before we became an “item”. I told him that couldn’t work at all. But at the end of the day, I told him the relationship couldn’t work because, honestly, I’m not attracted to him.
I kept trying to see if I would be, but it’s not working, and I can’t lead him on. I told him that, but he said it was unfair. He said he could “double up his game” if there was someone else, and that I hadn’t even gone on a date with him yet, but I was already saying I wasn’t attracted. Then, at the end of every sentence, he would just say, “It’s fine. It’s unfair. It’s not good o,” playing the victim card. Then he said stuff like I didn’t care about his life or things around him because when he asked me for money, I didn’t later ask him where he got money for the stuff he needed and if he had gotten it (he said this in his words). But surely he got it because when he resumed work, he didn’t inform me, I just saw it on his status. And again, he is too “Yoruba-tic.” I’m also a Yoruba babe, but I won’t say “what are you doing lowo” or “have you jeun?” Mind you, when we started talking, he asked me to pick any place for a date. I picked a cafe because he said he wanted us to go on a “light date,” in his words. After sending the cafe to him, his reply was “ohhh!!” But anyways, am I a bad person?
Also Read: Rollercoaster Feelings