Hi guys, I’m in a dilemma and I really need your honest opinions. This may be long, but please I need advice. I’ve always wanted to get married early, and now that I feel ready, I have two men in my life but I’m so confused. Guy 1 is everything I prayed for in a husband—consistent, caring, and serious about marriage. We’ve known each other for years, and from the start he made his intentions clear. Even though I’ve pushed him away many times and given him reasons to give up, he’s never left. He’s not fully financially stable yet, but he’s very hardworking and always trying, and super consistent. Never for once has he given me a reason to doubt him. The only problem is, I don’t feel deep love for him, except for a few times he mentioned a few things like never letting his partner take alcohol, like ever, but I might be able to compromise. People keep saying I’ll grow to love him with time since I never gave it a try. Guy 2 lives abroad. We’ve been together for 2 years, and honestly, I really love him. He’s come to Nigeria 3 times to see me, and I’ve also traveled out about 4 times to see him (all sponsored by him).
I know some people will say, “You’re only with him because of the benefits,” but that’s not true. When we first met, things weren’t even good for him, but I stayed. He’s generous and we have a strong connection, but he struggles to understand, especially about marriage and how my parents would see us traveling together without being engaged. Whenever I bring up marriage, he says he wants more time to get to know me better, but then it’s certain he wants to get married to me and he definitely loves me. Another challenge is his spontaneity, he makes decisions on the spot, and sometimes with just a small misunderstanding, the first thing on his mind is breaking up. He says and does things that can be really annoying, but somehow, one thing is always certain, he comes back. So here I am, two very different men, two very different situations. You can judge, but please, I need your honest opinions.