I was with this guy for over three years, three solid years of my life. I was loyal to him in every sense of the word. I gave everything I had emotionally, physically, even financially (the little way I could), and in return, he betrayed me in the worst way. He cheated on me and got another girl pregnant. Do you know how painful that is? I’m not even sure “painful” does it justice. If there’s a word deeper, heavier than pain, I’ve felt it. What’s worse? He never told me. I found out on January 1st this year. That’s how I started my new year. I went through his phone and saw messages between him and the girl. When I confronted him, he didn’t deny it. He said she was pregnant already and cutting ties with her wasn’t possible. I was in shock. I broke down completely. At first, I didn’t believe it.
I told him until he told his parents, I wouldn’t accept it. And then, he finally did. His mom even reached out to me, apologized, and asked me to be patient. I couldn’t leave at that point because most of my business money was with him. I had to be strategic, wait till I got everything back. He kept apologizing, sending gifts, telling me it was a mistake that happened. He called it a “fling.” And like a fool in love, I believed him. Then came my birthday. I went to his place just to get away from everything. I needed to breathe. In the middle of the night, he fell asleep with his phone unlocked. I opened it. That was when it hit me fully. He hadn’t just “flung” with her. He had been with this girl for over 11 months. I saw intimate videos—breast videos she sent him, recent clips of them together just a week ago. That’s when I realized he had been lying to me all along. He was never honest. He just told me what he thought I wanted to hear to keep me around. I forgot to mention that the whole time he was gifting me things, he was also gifting her things. He literally got me a purse, made a video and sent to me that he got us a couple purse. He did the same with the girl.
Apparently, inside over 3 years relationship with this guy, almost a year dey inside. When he saw me going through his phone, he tried to gaslight me, tried to flip it like I was the one invading his privacy. But I had had enough. I lost it. I hit him. I don’t feel proud about that moment, but I also can’t lie, I was completely broken. I left his place around 5am, alone, in a very unsafe area. But I didn’t care. I just needed to leave. This guy didn’t reach out to me to know if I got home safe after everything. The only thing he had to say to me was a cold, distant message threatening me. No real remorse. No effort to reach out since. It’s been five days. This is someone I truly believed I’d spend my life with. Someone I loved with my whole heart. And now I’ve come to realize: he never cared. He didn’t love me. He just didn’t want anyone else to have me. But this is me saying enough. I won’t reach out again. I won’t beg to be loved. I won’t stay loyal to someone who was never loyal to me. I’m sharing my story because I do not know how to recover from this level of betrayal. I do not know how to move on. Each time I try to show up for my business, it just feels like I’m losing myself. I have been suicidal.
Also read: The Worst Mistake Of My Life Was Having Sex