I found out recently (I was told by my mom) that when she conceived me, my dad denied it, saying if the pregnancy is not his, the baby will die. Whereas my dad deflowered her, and at that time, he didn’t stay in town with her—he only comes home once in a while (he is a clergy). She told me that when she was in labour, my dad came to the hospital like three times, then didn’t show up for like two days before she gave birth to me. He said because of his clergy work, he can’t just let a woman and a baby live with him without marrying her. So when I was like 3 or 4, they got married. Now 16 years have gone, I found out personally that my dad doesn’t love my mother (I am an only child). Though I kind of knew that he doesn’t show her love since I was like 7 (we started living with him when I was 6) because they have arguments upon arguments. There was this night I couldn’t forget because I do sleep in their room. I pretended as if I was sleeping; my mum was telling my dad that if he wants to marry another wife, he should. Why does he always find fault in her?
He was transferred from his station to another station—I was 9 then. I learnt that my dad has online girlfriends to whom he sends money. I don’t know if they have kids with him. Another point: my dad watches porn, sends them his nudes, and they send him theirs. And he calls himself a clergy. I have never felt family love like when the parents and child, in my case, come together and share love. I have motherly love and partially fatherly love. My mom said if not for me and his health, she would have left a long time ago. So now, what brings all this matter out is that four days ago, my mum told me that she found out that my dad stole her savings money (in a piggy bank), which I have never heard or seen him do before. The thing is, my dad doesn’t buy foodstuff at home. Ever since we started living with him, if we want to cook 2 cups of rice, we buy it outside, noodles outside. To the point that all my secondary school days, I didn’t take food to school. He gives me #200 or more to school. Even if I come back from school, I often buy food outside. We only cook sometimes at night. Since like a year now, my dad doesn’t give her feeding money—she feeds herself, imagine.
Till he even stopped giving her feeding money, it was #300 he always gave her. What does #300 buy in this economy? Whereas he orders food and eats to his satisfaction. I am now in my final year. He pays my fees, carries his responsibilities on me with his strength, but when it comes to my mom, he always says, is she not working (she is a petty trader now)? They haven’t had anything together as a husband and wife in years, whereas he meets his girlfriends and does his stupid acts. Since my mom told me how they had me, my mental health has been affected. I don’t feel the love a child should feel. I need your advice. I am in my late teens.
Also read: Is This What A Relationship Is Meant To Be Like?