I started dating this particular guy late last year, and I was so in love with him. He happened to be someone I always craved his presence. I knew he didn’t have money before I started dating him, and I didn’t have issues with it because I believe in growth and I have my own money. Randomly, I send him little money and card without asking him, which I see as a normal thing because this is something I can do for my friends. Now, one of the issues is this—he likes me dressing in a certain way and I like dressing differently. Mind you, both styles are decent. He likes corporate dresses, and I like casual dresses. Whenever he sees my friends dressed casually, he compliments them in my DM, but whenever he sees me dressed casually, he always has an issue with it, which gets me confused sometimes. Why would you compliment what you don’t like on me when you see others wearing it, but you have an issue when I wear it? Secondly, I know he earns very little, which I understand, but I still feel like he should randomly do things for me without me asking.
The last time he sent me 300 naira recharge card, I was very happy because I appreciate efforts a lot. It is the thought that counts for me, and I have told him many times that my love language is receiving gifts, so he is aware. I even gifted him during Valentine’s Day, but I didn’t get anything from him in return even after asking me what I wanted. I told him anything he can afford. He doesn’t seem to make effort. If he wants to send money, he will jokingly ask, “Should I send you money?” and when I say no, he won’t even push for a second time. But me, I do it without even asking. Do you think I should always say yes? I had to reduce how I gift him, which is not the kind of person I am because I like giving and receiving gifts. Thirdly, he runs away from conversations. Whenever I am complaining about something, he tells me he’d talk to me later, and that is the end. He never wants to listen, and this is a long-distance relationship. I am in Ekiti; he is in Kano. The last straw that broke the camel’s back was the last time he complimented my friend’s dress.
I got so angry and cried so hard, and for someone that is loved at home, I came back to my senses, and since then, I don’t have feelings for him. Should I break up with him? Do you think I am wrong for wanting him to do things for me without him asking me for permission? Is it normal for one to like a particular style on other girls but not like it on his girl? I know you might feel like probably the dresses don’t fit me, but trust me, I get compliments from both genders whenever I step out. The last hairstyle I made, he complained that it wasn’t fine, but I had people compliment my look, and I was like, “Ahan, what is happening?” It’s more like he doesn’t find me attractive because he never used to compliment me. He only started when I complained about it, because he complimented my sister and my friends without me asking him any questions. What am I even doing in a relationship like this sef? I guess love is not for everyone. The only guy that has ever loved me right is not a Christian; that was the reason I didn’t give him a chance. I seriously need to be loved, and it breaks my heart so much because I have lots of lovelove in me.
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