I am just confused because I don’t know what to do right now. So the thing is that when I was 16 turning into 17, I lost my mum due to sickness. I am the only child of my parents, so I had to go and stay with my mum’s elder sister because my dad didn’t really have. While living with her, she introduced me to one old man, like 74 years, and I have been sleeping with the man just because he was the one helping me with my school stuff. Although he sleeps with my aunty too, my aunty doesn’t know that I know. But in all these, I did it because I had no one to help me, and I was just scared that if I didn’t do it, she would maltreat me because she is so intimidating and manipulative. Each time I act like I don’t want to continue with it, she tries to make me feel bad, saying that I don’t have anyone to help me, and she makes it look like this is the only way out. She most times made me call the man and ask him for things that I know I don’t really need, and the man also got us a phone each after making me lie to him that my phone wasn’t good and I should also tell him that her own phone isn’t good too.
Even when I opened up and everyone heard about it, after some weeks the matter died down due to how manipulative she is. Fast forward to this year, I am 18 now and in 100 level, but I have already slept with another man, also about 60 years old, whom she also introduced me to. This one bought everything for me and also paid my school fees and everything I needed for this 100 level. Deep down, I don’t want to be doing these. I know what I am doing isn’t good, but I just had to do it so that I could enter school and cut off from them. So during this period, school went on break and I just had to change to a new SIM and call my father and travel to meet him, although I didn’t tell him what happened. My aunty is now using other people to try and reach out to me because I was meant to come and stay with her during this holiday, but I left school without telling her, and someone told her that they saw me carrying a small box leaving the school. I heard she said that when I come back to school, she will collect the phone and everything those people gave me. But that’s not my problem.
The main thing here is that I just want to be on my own and sort out life. I know it’s not going to be easy, but with God, all things are possible. I don’t want to go back to her because if I do, she will want me to continue because she is benefiting a lot from it, and that’s not how I want to start my life as a young girl. I don’t even know what to do. I am just tired of living in fear and manipulation, and I can’t even speak up because I am just scared that some people will criticize me, and some will even use it as gist. Also, my other family members can’t help me without involving her, and I am confused. I need your advice, please help me.
Also read Confused Mind