I have made a lot of mistakes in this life, and I’m trying to make amends, but I don’t know how to go about it. I have a boyfriend of 4 years (I’ve been dating him since I was 18). I’ve accepted a whole lot in the name of this relationship (he cheats, gaslights, and does all sorts of manipulative stuff but hasn’t been violent toward me). I’ve been staying with him for like a year now because of accommodation issues and my business (space to work). Staying with him isn’t what I wish for, but I have no choice due to the situation of things with my mother for now. I do most things for my mother and siblings at this young age. The issue now is that I’ve saved up to 1 million naira from my business (all is my sweat, and not a single naira from my boyfriend) because this guy leaves me to do everything myself just because I’m working, so I’m clearly not in the relationship for his money. I just loved him. Even when I wanted to go for my business class, I didn’t get a dime from him. He doesn’t see gifting as an act of love.
Even throughout our 4 years together, he never gifts me on our anniversaries, not even on my birthdays. He always says he is broke, and I do gift him on all occasions—even during Valentine’s, I gift him every year. Like I said earlier, I’ve saved up to 1 million naira, and I’m thinking of getting my own place, but school is resuming in like 2 months (I want to go for my higher national diploma), and of course, I will be the one to fund myself through school. The money I saved from my business isn’t enough to rent an apartment yet because all Lagos agents are calling outrageous prices, and I can’t consider using a single room because of all my work materials—I need to get a self-contained. I thought cohabiting with my boyfriend would be a way to study him and see if we could end up together, but it’s been nothing but hell. His family members are always in our business, and each time I try talking to him about how I don’t like it, he tells me he knows what he is doing. I honestly feel fed up. We live in the same house like strangers, and sometimes we go for days without talking to each other.
This same guy is always insecure, thinking I have someone else. He even cloned my WhatsApp when he clearly knows my password. When I found out, I changed my password and told him that we should stay off each other’s phones. I built my business from scratch without his help, even when people think he does everything for me. I’m not lazy, and I’m working hard for myself, but everywhere’s hard. I feel stuck living in his house. I just want my own space to get my peace of mind back. I can’t mention all this to my mum because she is just a struggling single mother too, and I mostly carry their responsibilities at home. I feel like my whole life is messed up, and I’m just tired. I give out love and don’t get it back in return—all I get is lies and manipulation. Most girls who give out true love really suffer.
Also Read: How My Dad Nearly Got Scammed