The thing is, my ex hit money in 2020/2021 and we met in 2020 after a really long time, as I used to know him but it wasn’t on personal levels; it was through a friend. So fast forward to 2021, we started dating even though I noticed that he used to still text his then ex from time to time. With time, all that ended because he didn’t want to throw away his “bird at hand” as his ex-girlfriend no really send am, even as he had money that period. I’d often visit him, and over time he became so attached to me—even his friends loved my energy. Honestly, we were both in love, and he is a very kind person, especially when he likes someone. But the first red flag was that he kept a lot of friends whom he was feeding, housing, and even clothing at the time. I’d complain about it because they’d always touch his stuff even without his permission, which made it difficult for me to drop my stuff at his place, but he’d tell me I shouldn’t be reasoning all these things. This guy lacked boundaries and, in all of this, he was a very wasteful spender. At first, it was sweet because anything I wanted, he’d get it as far as he had the money.
But for someone that’s doing yahoo, I always tried to advise him to save some money just in case, but he’d keep spending till he had nothing left in his account—I mean not even N1k! Then he’d start asking me for money and making me feel bad if I didn’t give him because he spent on me when he had money. All these red flags were glaring, but I kept ignoring them because I felt so loved since he didn’t hesitate to show how much he loved and cared about me. That made his friends really respect me and also care about me too (considering how I was badly disrespected and emotionally abused in my previous relationships, I was like make I manage this one wey I see—maybe with time he’ll change). This kept going on all through 2021 till 2022, and then I became pregnant. Since I was still in school, we decided to take out the pregnancy. That’s when I should have left, but we’d have sex and I fell right back into the same cycle. I then got pregnant again in 2023 and we took it out again, but I warned him that that was the last time it would happen. Since both families were aware we were together, we’d just find way to pay the bride price.
From 2022, things turned downhill in his finances and with how he didn’t know how to be financially sensible, it was from hand to mouth. He could barely pay his rent, most of his friends left, and it brought us even closer because now I was one of the closest persons to him in his circle, as he found it difficult to share his problems with others. I became his girlfriend and his best friend, and he was comfortable being vulnerable around me, which wasn’t the case when we started dating. Desperation set in, and his friend took him somewhere that they told him the cause of his problem. He took me there with him and the woman asked us to bring so many things because the two ab-ortions we had done contributed to what led to his downfall. It was even affecting me too, as things became so tight for me. It was more like every door around me was shut against me. They asked us to bring a lot of things to appease the spirit of my children, as according to them “they were crying on our head.” My ex’s own was a lot because even that his previous ex had an ab-ortion for him before they broke up that time.
So I started hooking up with guys to get money (since my guy was picking change from his clients) so that I can do the whole cleansing process and things will start moving well for me—at least before I help him sort out his own too. I gathered my own money and he found out it was through hookup. He was very angry but he forgave me. You will not believe this guy whined me into spending that money unnecessarily. He gave me excuses like I shouldn’t use that kind of money to do this kind of thing, blah blah blah. Then he kept postponing the date when we were to go and see the woman, as I didn’t even know my way there and I was even too scared to go there alone. That was how the money got spent and he wasn’t able to gather his own either. I continued doing hookup as I needed money, even though I was hiding the whole thing from him. One day, I had a dream that I went to that place alone, and I told him about it. But he told me I should forget about the whole cleansing and appeasement thing we were supposed to do. Meanwhile, it was still on my mind and I was looking for a way to do it because I wasn’t happy with how things were.
That’s how an old friend of mine mentioned something related to it one time we were gisting, and I found out she knew the place. With her help, I planned and went there, did what I was meant to do, and the woman told me to break up with him because he’s lazy—which I did. But I fell back into his arms once again, and with time I even opened up to him about it. He was pissed that I did it, but he let the matter slide. I always begged this boy to get something else to do except from yahoo. He’d promise he’d start something and he won’t. His parents even tried getting him a job, but he wasn’t even interested in keeping it. Because of the way he was moving, it was as if all he wanted was to do dr¥g$, have s€x with me, and probably get me pregnant again. Things weren’t still moving well for me. Any money I get was just going like that with nothing to show for it, so I became frustrated. Most nights, I’d cry myself to sleep, and he wasn’t even helping issues financially. At some point, I realized he didn’t even want to help himself, so we finally broke up final final (not the usual breakup we normally had) because I was honestly fed up with his lack of zeal,
laziness, inconsistency, dr*g lifestyle, lack of boundaries, financial mismanagement, and so on and so forth. I cut off contacts with him, although it was very, very difficult. I ran back to God and He changed my life, but I learnt my lessons in a very, very hard way. Things are now working out for me and I feel so much at peace than I have ever been in a very long time, but deep down I have so much regret and I wish I did things differently. Yes, my ex was kind to me and he never abused me—not even for one day—even when I did the st¥pidest things. But I was so blinded by love that I ignored all these glaring red flags, and I beat up myself every time, wishing that I could turn back the hands of time. Now I’m starting all over and I am single again at this my age. I really messed up.
Also Read: Never Overplay Your Role in a Guy’s Life