I’m in a dilemma at the moment, and I don’t know what to do. I started dating a guy in June 2023 while I was in the US. However, I came back to Nigeria in January last year (2024), and it became a long-distance relationship. We both agreed he would come to Nigeria in May/June 2024 to see me so we could spend time together, but he kept changing our plans because of work. I became frustrated, especially sexually, because he was the one who took my virginity in 2023, and ever since then, my sexual urge has spiraled. Anyway, last year July, a very old friend of mine, whom I had a fling with many years ago, randomly came to see me at my house, and we started getting close again.
I was upfront about the fact that I had a boyfriend, but he was persistent in getting close to me. Eventually, I budged, we had sex, and I told my boyfriend about it because I felt guilty. He was really sad but still wanted us to continue. I refused because I felt really guilty and also because I had really started to like this new guy. Anyway, this new guy and I got really close, and we seemed to like each other a lot, but he has never asked me out officially. I’ve even met his family, but I’m hesitant about him meeting mine. Now the issue here is, for about two weeks, he has kind of distanced himself, saying he has a lot of work and is struggling financially because he lost money.
I never ask him for money or anything, as I’m from a well-to-do family, and I have a good job as well. I’ve tried to be there for him—even sent epistles asking him to let me in and called him—but he wouldn’t pick up or return my calls. He would reply late (which he never used to do). A few days ago, he finally had my time and asked to go out but canceled on the day, saying he had work again. Now we haven’t talked for two days, and I miss him so much. Should I text him again or just leave him alone? Also, there’s this one of my brother’s friends who is really decent and romantic and really likes me, but I’ve been stalling because of this other guy. What should I do? By the way, I’m 24, and he’s 29.
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