Dear Rantandtalkz family, I’m writing this with a heavy heart. I’m a young lady in my mid-twenties and trust me when I say I’m doing well for myself. We are not so rich in my family but trust me, we are doing okay. I lost my serious relationship in 2020 after he kept cheating and disrespecting me, which made me make up my mind to move on. Since then, it’s been from one rubbish love scandal to another. Love is very wicked, I’m talking from experience. Now, this is why I’m sharing my story because I need some advice. I messaged this guy in late 2022, and he’s been asking me out since early 2023, but I’ve been having mixed feelings about him, so I didn’t really take him seriously, not until late last year when my friend advised me to give him a try, which I did. He doesn’t really send money, so I don’t care much, but he’s a sweet texter, and his words of affirmation really get to me. In January 2024, I decided to go see him. I’m based in Lagos, but he’s based in another state which I don’t want to mention. He started acting somehow a day before I was supposed to go see him, but I felt it might be mood swings. On getting there, he gave me so much attitude after sex, but I decided to overlook it and I went back to Lagos the second day. I noticed he changed; he hardly texts me, and when I asked if anything was wrong, he said no. Not until he messaged me one evening like five days later and he said he changed because I talked razz, that I called him “bobo mi” which he felt was razz, that I’m too classy to be uttering such statements.
I was really pissed, then we both ended the relationship. He kept sliding into my DMs, which I didn’t reply to until my mum’s birthday when he commented under my post and I decided to reply. He asked if he could call me, which I allowed. He spoke at length, apologized and all, he texted me, sent me sweet words, and apologized for like two days before I finally accepted his apology. That was in March. We were cool, and the relationship was going well. He kept saying he loved me so much, he couldn’t wait to see me, blah blah blah, and I decided to go see him again. Now, this is the painful part. I came to see my supposed boyfriend, got there around 8 pm after the long day on the bus, and even had to cook dinner for him and his friends despite how tired I was. We discussed our flaws, and I liked the way things went that night, not until the second morning when this guy started giving me different attitudes, which I chose to ignore. I called him to help me with something in the kitchen, and this guy looked at me with a very bad eye. I felt so sad. He noticed I was angry, and he came to the kitchen to ask if I wasn’t stressed. I chose not to answer because I was sad, why is he behaving that way? I went to the room, and I cried my eyes out. He came, saw me crying, and asked what happened, I didn’t answer, he came to ask the second time, and I asked why he kept treating me like I was unwanted.
After so much talk, he apologized and said he didn’t know he was doing anything wrong, he promised to check himself, and I immediately forgave him. He messaged me that night that his dad would be coming the next day, I should prepare to leave, and I said okay. The next morning, I woke up with a headache, and this guy texted me to dress up again around 9 am to leave because his dad was on his way without giving me a dime for transport fare. I had no money on me, and I couldn’t even ask, so I went to my friend’s place in the same city. This guy messaged me saying he feels I’m engrossed with a lot of guys. I asked if it was because I kept pressing my phone at his place, and I immediately screen-recorded my WhatsApp conversation, my snap, and my IG, and sent it to him, then asked if he could show me his. Lol, he said what’s the essence. He asked why would I go to a friend’s place when I was supposed to go home, and I asked if I should fly because I had no dime on me and he never mentioned my transport fare or so. This guy’s response was, it’s well. Now my question is, am I the one with issues, and I should check myself, or this guy just doesn’t love me, and he chooses to keep playing me because I promised myself I’ll never have anything to do with him? Been very sad and depressed since then, I feel something is wrong with my love life.
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