I met this guy early last year, and he was very nice, loving, caring, and romantic. Things started changing after seven months in the relationship, which I talked to him about, and he promised to adjust. He stopped being loving and romantic, which I felt was normal at first because I know relationships can’t be all rosy all the time. I thought maybe he was going through something he couldn’t share with me, but then he started posting some random girl. Mind you, he never posted me, and I did the same. The only time I posted him was on his birthday. I complained about a certain video he posted, and he told me she was just a friend, so I let it go. A week later, he posted another lady but covered her face with a sticker. I got angry and complained again, and he said she was a friend. A few weeks later, he posted another lady, and this one really got to me. But I decided not to ask because I knew he would say she was just a friend again. So, I kept quiet and acted as if I didn’t see his post—I didn’t message or call him. After a few days, he messaged me, and I lamented again.
He said, “The fact that I post girls doesn’t mean I’m having an affair with them.” I let that slide again, but I made up my mind to stop communicating with him, which I did. I’m a final-year student in Ogun State, and he stays in Lagos—not too far from my parents’ house. We usually meet when I’m home for the holidays. I’m not allowed to sleep out when I’m home, so I visit him sometimes from school. During this period of ups and downs, I requested to see him twice, but he made excuses, so I locked up too. This guy became very nonchalant. There was a time he ghosted me for three days. He wouldn’t pick up my calls—just chats and voice notes. It wasn’t like that from the start. Anytime I tried communicating my feelings, he would say, “We are good.” I got fed up at some point and decided to let him be. We didn’t communicate well until I came home for the Christmas holiday. Then, one night, this guy called and started giving silly excuses for his actions, and I said, “It’s okay.” But I still maintained that communication gap that I started, and I think he noticed.
He started chatting with me more often, but I still kept my distance. On December 29, he called and said we should meet before I go back to school. I responded, “I’ll let you know when I’m chanced.” No communication again until New Year wishes, and then nothing till now. It wasn’t easy, but I really needed to detach myself from this guy because I felt unwanted. Am I wrong for doing that? Should I feel bad for choosing my happiness? I still love him, but I don’t want to stay where I’m not wanted. Mind you, this guy never gave me anything—not money, not gifts. My parents provide everything I need. The only thing I wanted from him was love and affection, and at some point, he didn’t even give me that. Should I just let go?
Also Read: Why Do the People We Love Put Us Through the Most Hell?