I’m a 26-year-old lady, engaged to a 36-year-old guy. We’ve been together for four years. He’s caring but short-tempered. Recently, we were coming back from church, and he was telling me about his friend who got married last year. He said his wife lost her pregnancy twice. The next thing he did was laugh about it, saying the wife is not a calm person (ara e obale in Yoruba). I was shocked to hear that. He also said, “Isn’t she supposed to have given birth now? When did they get married?” I was like, “How can you be so insensitive? Making a mockery of someone’s pain and trauma?” I corrected him about what he said, and he was still saying it like it’s no big deal.
Because of that, I didn’t talk to him for two days. On the third day, I sent him a message that we need to discuss our wedding dates so I could give my parents the feedback. He said he can’t settle down with a stupid person like me. He started calling me different demeaning names and saying, “Who are you to be commanding me?” (Which I did not do). He asked, “Did I say you’re the one that had a miscarriage?” He added that I don’t mind my business. He was gaslighting me, saying I don’t have respect for him. Did I overreact by correcting him?
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