5 years relationship. We met and fell in love, she was vulnerable to me, she loved and cared for me and what did I do? I messed it all up. I started flirting with different girls for 5 years. Each year I flirted but never had sex with any of them. She would cry and beg, she pleaded I stop. She lost trust and started developing hatred for me. She started healing silently while with me, which I thought she couldn’t. She was so beautiful, she was a fairytale. Everywhere we went, people looked at me and said damn you are lucky, and what did I do? I let it all slip away just because I couldn’t control my sexual urges. I met her after she left her past relationship. She was committed to me despite being that beautiful. She’s drop-dead gorgeous and I messed it all up. I broke her trust, my insecurities increased, I started projecting the things I do on her and she finally had to cut me off and asked me to go. At first I thought it was a joke, but omo, when this babe showed me the other side of her that I had never seen before, I cried and cried till my eyeballs wanted to pull out. I was really ready to make amends. Even before now I already stopped since last year, but I guess it was too late. She was a blessing to my life. Regardless of how we ended now, I will take this as a lesson and live by it every day of my life and I promise never to do this to someone else again if God should decide to bless me again, because she was a blessing. I’m contemplating cutting off my D so I can live in peace, and if ever I can get the chance with her again, it would be the better version of me. I’m so su**idal and I’m going off for a really long time. If I ever return, then it would be in another life. I begged, I cried, but since she can’t hear my heart she would see my body with the note I already wrote on my dining table. I told you I could d!e for you and when you see my body that should be your reminder. Have fun in life. Paid my dues with karma. Please put me in your prayers for the mercies of God while I descend.
Also read: I’m In A Loop