I’m a 21-year-old lady and I just got into a relationship with a 30-year-old man. We are just 3 months in, but I feel like I can’t cope anymore, or maybe I just take things too seriously according to him. Before we started dating, this man made it known to me that he doesn’t want to date for fun, that he’s ready to get married, like fully ready. He has a good job and he is comfortable. But I’m just 21, GOD! I told him I wasn’t ready because I just graduated uni. I let him know that I need to discover myself, build my career, and so on, and he was okay with it. Then he went on and asked when I’ll be ready, and I told him if I want to be considerate, it will take me 2-3 years, and he accepted it.
But lately, I feel he is pressuring me. Now, he expects too much from me while he gives less. He doesn’t call to check up on me at all, even if I’m sick. I am always the one calling and checking up on him; he doesn’t reciprocate that at all. Whenever I go to his place, he is always complaining about me being too attached to my phone, whereas we’ve not even spent up to 24 hours together. I’ve never spent the night at his house, so why is he concluding like that? Y’all, whenever I go to check up on him, I would literally cook for him, then we play, and in between, I just press my phone, that’s all.
But no! He’s always complaining, saying that we don’t bond enough, blah blah! He wouldn’t even let me breathe. I’m getting tired. He complains about how I talk on the phone, the words I use, and all. There’s a day he called and I said, “What’s up, babe?” Jesus, y’all, he was so angry and I was just shocked 😳. Am I doing anything wrong that I don’t know about? Or is the age gap causing all of this? God, I carry myself with so much respect and pride. I’m so beautiful and I know that, but this man isn’t even seeing that anymore. He is beginning to make me feel less of myself. I love him so much; I do, even if the relationship is just 3 months.
He wouldn’t even say, “I love you” to me. If I don’t say it, he wouldn’t. Am I overthinking? Is it that 30+ men don’t just do that? The only thing he does is give me money when I ask. He doesn’t even believe that I love him. Sometimes he’ll tell me that I’m feeling myself because I’m beautiful, that if he sees that it’s getting to my head, he’ll leave me. God, a lot of things that I can’t just type here. I don’t know what to do. Don’t judge me; advice would be better.
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