I guess I would say giving birth to a man can change your relationship with him. I lost interest in the man I used to love like mad. I grew hate for him. I saw him flirting with other women in his workplace, going out with them, and even taking them to places where we had been before. Omo, I had to end things with him because I was tired of begging this man to treat me right. At least he does everything for his child but doesn’t do anything for me. I just gave birth, my child is just 3 months old. Out of anger, my parents agreed not to care for me but only to send me to school, house me and my child, and feed me. It’s so shameful. Tired of writing in my journal, it’s full of different things that come to my head. How do I make money? I run an online business, with no sales, nothing. My ex, after telling him everything, gave me N100k to buy new clothes because since I gave birth I added weight. I never looked at this guy to be like this.
For as much as I am always scared of being called a liability, I don’t know what to do. Always depressed. All I wish is to go back in time and ignore his message when he texted me. No trust, no love, though he claims to love me. But bro, I am a shadow of myself. No one wants to be a baby mama but that’s what I am called, even by his close friends and family. What pains the most is when new people toast you and you tell them you are not ready and they are like, “Why?” And the next thing is, “I have a child.” Obviously, they’ll pity you and say, “Omo, why would a fine girl like you let her guard down?” Rubbish. I am scared of abortion, it’s scary. I lost a friend through it. Yes, I use preventive medicationsand condoms too. Nigeria is hard, making everything more difficult. My school is now showing me another level of trouble. I wish I could love my baby daddy again. I don’t know. I just don’t want to love him because I feel the shege has been seen successfully, lol. Ok, I feel better now.
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