My husband and I are young and based in Canada. I have three boys for him already. When I was a month pregnant with my third pregnancy, my husband pushed me down from the bed while I was trying to collect my phone from him and I hit my head on a stool and started bleeding. This was because he forgot to wish me happy birthday and one of the people who wished me happy birthday said “Happy birthday, darling,” and I replied, “Thank you, darling.” So he saw me using my phone after playing games for hours and collected it to see what I was doing. He read my WhatsApp chats from people and then saw where I wrote “darling,” and he flared up, demanding why I am calling another guy darling. I was already angry with him because he saw where people were wishing me HBD, but where his anger went is the “darling” I wrote, instead of him being remorseful and wishing me HBD at 11 p.m. Anyway, we settled after, but I warned him seriously that if he ever becomes v!0lent to me, I will not hesitate to call the police. Just to clear any doubt of infidelity, my husband married me as a virgin and I have never cheated on him. The boy I replied “darling” to is a very young boy whom I am way,
way older than and whom I used to feed when I was in university and he didn’t have money. So because of how happy he was and the fact that I took him as my young brother, we just greet each other “darling” and it ends there. As I am typing this, it is 1 week since I put to bed for our third child through second caesarean section. Four days after, all our children were crying at the same time and I went to my husband, who had been playing games for 3 hours after coming back from work, to please come and feed our other children while I attend to the baby, as I am not fit due to the whole pain after c-section. He ignored me. I said it up to four times before he said he has heard, so I left him. He kept on playing and I went back to meet him and he raised his voice on me and screamed at me. I got angry and I shouted at him, “Who does he think he is shouting at? Is it me that went through hell to give birth to his child?” So in the heat of anger, I went to go and switch off his PS5 and he held me, tore my cloth, started manhandling me, and dragged me out to push me down our stairs. Our children were on the stairs crying, and I said to myself, if he pushes me and I hit my children,
they may fall and hit their heads on the floor. So to avoid anything happening to my children, I had to hold on to my husband, and I don’t even know where I got the strength from, but I was able to push him back into the room. He kept manhandling me and furniture was falling on the floor. He started saying he is tired of this marriage, and I told him that if he is tired, me too, I am tired. If he thinks I will beg him, he is dreaming. I reported him to his uncle that night who spoke to him. This is a man I have loved, respected, supported financially because I believe we are one, and in terms of finances, I always help with happiness. I have always treated him as a king, but now, ever since he manhandled me just 4 days after my c-section, it is as if something has died within me. It is as if my heart has become stone. He has been begging me since this incident happened, acting all loving, trying to give me random hugs that I used to beg him for, trying to drop his phone and game and give me attention that I used to beg him for, trying to buy random things like ice cream for me that I used to beg him to surprise me with sometimes. Now he is doing them to beg me to forgive him.
Honestly, I have told him to stop kissing me and trying to kiss me because I am not interested. The way I am feeling right now is not intentional, but I feel dead, void of all emotions. Now, when he is playing games and using his phone without paying attention to me, I no longer complain. If he wants to go and play games at night, I tell him to do whatever he wants because I am no longer interested in his things. I am like a walking zombie. I only smile when I am with my children playing and I am scared for myself. I am scared that my heart, which has become stone, might not be soft anymore. He always places his game and football as number one, while I am number two. When we courted, he used to give me attention and drop his phone and game, and I never knew he was addicted to them. Anyway, now, my parents have just visited us for 1 month, and I am thinking of telling my dad the v!0lence my husband did to me because I feel if anything happens to me in the future, they should hold him. Please advise me if I should tell my parents or not because I can’t keep covering up for him. I feel I need my people to know in terms of this v!0lence. Please advise, thank you.
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