Hi, straight to the point, I’m 26 years old and I noticed I’ve not healed from a traumatic sexual experience I had as a teenager (r^p€). It’s not a triggering topic for me to talk about, but the scars are still there. What I mean by the scars is that I hate sex… like, so much. The idea of body contact and body fluids disgusts me to my toes. And kissing? Jesus! I can throw up if you bring your tongue to me. My ex struggled for a while thinking I didn’t like him. But I really did! Omo mehn, I thought it was over for me sexually. Till I met this 6’4” man that made funny fluids come out of my pssy like they never have before. My heart is racing typing this. I ran mad for like 3 hours straight that night. He was n^sty to me but adored me like a fcking queen at the same time. Yo! I said one slimey water thing was coming out of me and I didn’t understand what was going on but LORD! I KNOW I LOVED IT. Fast forward, he’s emotionally unavailable so we can’t date.
My low body count has been one of my biggest flexes and I fully intend to keep it that way. Here’s my issue: this man has released one monster inside me that wants ONLY HIM, and the fact that I can’t have him is driving me nuts. So, someone else came along and we tried “it”, fam, I fell sick instantly… I couldn’t. I was sick to my stomach. My happiness is, I’m damaged s€xually (I know), but my experience with the other dude made me realize there’s hope for me. The other men I have done it with are good, or just as good, this is a “ME” thing. The other guy sef is stuck on his ex, so even if he’s available, I wouldn’t even want to be a third wheel to that party. It’s been 2 months and I’m just exhausted mentally thinking about that night and my whole situation. What do I do?
Also Read: Betrayal in Friendship