I hate trying to convince myself that I’m done with you. I actually want to be with you. I hate having to force myself to let go of you. I wanted a home with you. I felt whole with you. I shared my soul with you. But now it’s like I don’t even notice you. Every time I feel heartbroken and alone, my friends automatically know it’s because of you. Anytime I check my phone, it’s never you. So now I feel like I’m forced to let go of you, and that’s what hurts the most. I don’t want to play strong. I don’t want to act like I don’t care. Truth be told, I can’t stop thinking about you. But honestly, you really did me dirty—called me names, insulted me, disrespected me, treated me like I never meant anything to you. But unfortunately, I’ve got to stand on business around you because I can’t hold on to you, especially after all the things you put me through, so I’ve got to play cold. I’ve got to stand on business. But honestly, you can still hear my heart call for you if you listen. All the times you broke my heart, I’ll try my best to forgive. I always wanted you to express your love to me with the best apology, but you didn’t.
I don’t know why I still have faith in you, but you keep giving me more reasons why I should just move on. If I could, I’d try my best to teach you how to treat me right, how to love me right. If I could, I would try to bring clarity to your sight, but something must be wrong with your eyes, so I have to let you go this time. I hate having to stand on this; I wanted to be with you, but God has shown me plenty of times why I can’t be with you, so I’ve got to listen to Him. We are healing now. Just know you lost someone who was ready to grow with you and willing to love you even with all your flaws. I pray you heal too. Be happy.
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