I’m a 27-year-old lady who has seen a lot in relationships. All the guys I’ve encountered have been playboys. Though I’m working and financially stable, last year, I met a married man who wanted a second wife. At first, I felt it wasn’t a good idea. I had plans to look for a random guy, get pregnant, and have my baby because I have health issues related to fertility. My first love knew about it and used it against me, which led to our breakup. When I met this man, I told him my plans just to scare him away because I don’t like second-wife drama, and I’m too young for it. But this man wouldn’t leave me alone. He even met my mom, my siblings, and other relatives, so I gave him a chance because we are both Muslims. About four months ago, his wife found out about us. That’s when the threats started—cur$ing, ambushing, everything. I felt tired at some point, but my boyfriend stood by me. Now, he wants a baby to silence his family and wife. But pregnancy isn’t happening.
I’ve spent a lot of money—both medically and spiritually. I’ve eaten all kinds of things just to conceive. Now, my boyfriend is starting to act differently. He already told his wife and family that we are no longer together. So, I reconciled with his wife, and she even told me that whenever I want to get married, I should let her know so we can be friends. I told my boyfriend about it, and now he wants a secret marriage. That means if I get pregnant now, it will be kept a secret until the child is two years old, and then his family will be informed. Or I should wait until the timeframe his family gave him because they believe he’s too young to take a second wife. I agreed to it, only for him to later say that he only wants one child with me. His plan is to marry two wives and have three kids in total. His first wife already has two. I told him to make it two kids, but he refused. He said if I’m not okay with it, I should leave now or give him a child and marry someone else because he doesn’t want to leave me.
I even begged him to reconsider, but he refused. Now, I’m confused. How can I have just one child with the best man I’ve ever met? Should I stay or look for someone else? He also said that after I give birth, he will instruct the hospital to implant family planning without my consent, and if I remove it, he won’t be accountable for the child. Please advise me.
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