I’m insecure about my face. Yes! I’m a beautiful girl, I know that. But I just can’t seem to get over the imperfections on my face. I’ve always had acne growing up, but I had clear skin most of the time. In 2022, everything changed. I got my acne as usual, and I thought it’d leave within a week as usual, but it didn’t. A week has turned into 3 years—3 years of endless battle with acne. My facial skin tone has gone 3 shades darker since then. I’ve spent a lot of money on this face. I stopped buying clothes and going out and put all my money into skincare. I’ve done excessive research on skincare and skin types. I know products and ingredients like the back of my hand, and I’m probably qualified to be a dermatologist at this point. I’ve done any facial care you can think of—vampire facials, etc., cleaned my gut, detoxed, took natural products, supplements—everything. People who knew me when my face was spotless used to ask me what suddenly went wrong—questions I couldn’t answer, and questions that made me lose confidence in myself more.
I decided to quit skincare this year and nothing changed. And as if I’m addicted, I sneak in a serum or a toner at night because it feels wrong going to bed without my normal routine. Why am I ranting? I want to accept myself and my new reality, but it’s hard. My insecurities are starting to shine through to the people around me, and I h8te anyone feeling bad for me. I’ve stopped taking group pictures because I don’t want people posting raw, unedited pictures of me. I just got out of a long-term relationship and joined a dating app recently. I went on a date with a really sweet guy. I had a good time and I thought he did too. We talked about anything and everything, but tell me why this guy stopped talking to me the second day. I’m not pained. Who am I kidding? I’m pained. That’s all, guys. Just wanted to rant.
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