My heart is broken. My husband is cheating on me. This was the same person I held in high esteem. This man literally changed my way of thinking, taught me things—oh God, where do I start? I recently found out that this man sleeps with anything—literally anything that has a vagina. I feel so stoopid right now. We haven’t been intimate for seven months because I’m pregnant. Not my doing, but his. He highlighted his reasons, which I just agreed to, not because it’s what I wanted, but because of the baby. He said he didn’t want to harm the baby because he is a hard hitter and doesn’t want to get carried away while in the process. I just agreed with tears in my heart because I really wanted that intimacy. Now, I found out that this man is a chronic cheat—even sleeping with the house help too. God. I’m currently broke—broke.
I liquidated all I’ve ever worked for to help a dear friend for her surgery. Another story I don’t want to talk about. But my life right now is that I’m feeding off my husband, who is well-to-do, which is why I didn’t hesitate to help her out when she needed me. Honestly, I’m really broken. I’ll go into labor next month or at the end of this month, and here I am, so filled with uncertainty. Note that the house help doesn’t even live with us, but he still manages to spend time with her and have s€x with multiple women. When I complained to him earlier about not spending much time with me like before, he said he’s hustling and has to do it twice as hard because he doesn’t want me or the baby to stress in this life—which I thought was cute at the time. Here I was, thinking I had my own person. At some point, I wish I didn’t find out.
Knowing is what hurts the most. This help is the same person I treat so well and even beg my husband on her behalf. Oh God, I feel like a f00l. I wish I had something. I wish I had my money back. Maybe I’d just run away and start life again somewhere far away with my baby. At the same time, I want to hurt someone. I want them to feel my pain. These thoughts just keep coming and going. I’m really hurt. My life was pretty okay before he came, and when he did, I thought my good deeds were finally paying off. I am broken in so many pieces. Tears are running down my cheeks as I write this, and I’m too scared to confide in anyone because I don’t know what I might do if I listen to advice. I’m just guarding my broken heart, and at the same time, I just want to shout.
Also Read: My Narcissistic Partner