In my relationship, my bf is extremely broke at the moment, so I lend him money sometimes whenever I have, which he promised to pay back when he’s okay. Some, I give freely and don’t expect back. If it’s below N30k, I don’t consider it a loan, but for amounts like N50k, N100k, or N200k, I let him know I’m not dashing him. Lately, he has become so withdrawn and sad. He barely texts. If I text him, he’ll say he’s tired of life and frustrated. He’s so unreachable. When he withdraws, I try my best to give him space for a while, then text him again, and we’re cool. But two weeks later, he withdraws again, and I have to reach out again. One day, he asked me for money, and I told him the money with me wasn’t mine. He said he would refund it in a few hours, but he never did. Then he withdrew himself again and stopped talking to me. After sending multiple messages begging him to please try and refund even half, I became tired of reaching out. I’m starting to appear desperate. One day, I was stranded somewhere with nobody to ask for money.
I knew he didn’t have much, but I was desperate. In fact, that day, I was really crying. I had to message him and ask for money. He only said “Omo” and never replied to my message. I had to start begging and asking people randomly before I could leave that place. It’s been a month and three days now, and it feels like I’m in a relationship, but at the same time, I feel so guilty. I know he’s not fine, but I’m not checking up on him regularly. I used to, but sometimes he’s unreachable, or he gives cold responses to my texts. I don’t know what to do. I feel like this is when he needs companionship the most, but he distances himself from me. He said I’m not the only one he has stopped talking to—he has literally stopped talking to everyone. Please advise me. What can I do? I don’t want to appear desperate. What if he has somebody else he shares his tough moments with? If so, I will gladly leave him alone. But what if he doesn’t? What if he’s struggling in silence? I don’t want to leave him now when he needs help the most, but the way he reacts to me just drains me.
Also Read: I’ve Got No Friends in the University