I’m 24 years old and I met this guy 3 years ago. He’s older than me by 9 years. Yes, I know he had a woman living with him and a 2-year-old daughter. He made his intention known to me from the beginning that his woman is always giving him problems at home and if he can’t continue with her, then we can take whatever we have to the next level. He sold his car and used part of the money to get us an apartment and furnished it. As time went on, he spent 5 days with me and 2 days with his baby mama and the daughter.
Currently, I’m 9 months pregnant for him. He bought the baby things already. In the midst of our relationship, I noticed I had fallen so deeply for him that I became very upset whenever he went to visit his family. It got to a stage where he kept on complaining about my everyday nagging, telling me how disrespectful I am to him and that I starve him whenever he returns from seeing them. Yes, I was truly nagging and disrespectful to him. That’s because currently, I noticed I’m being clingy and I don’t want to share him with anyone, and this has become a problem for us.
He helped me get the phone I’m using and helped out with my school fees and transport the best way he could. I live in the house he rented for us. He was showing me love the best way he could and he was so open to me. During one Valentine, I got him a power bank, and whenever we fought, I always took the power bank with me because I felt it was bought with my money. Also, we don’t usually have light in my mom’s area. Now he kept on complaining and comparing me to his baby mama, that I’m maltreating him more than she does. He complains that I starve him more, that I’m lazy when it comes to house chores, and when I try to exchange words with him, it turns into a fight where he asks me to leave the house.
This goes on and on—we keep fighting and settling whenever he returns from seeing his baby mama and daughter. I kept on reminding him that he should stop that habit of sending me back to my mother’s house whenever we have a fight, that yes, my elder brother got an apartment for my mom which I can go to anytime, any day, and if he doesn’t stop it, one day I might just go and not return to the relationship.
That moreover, I’m not the first to become a baby mama and I won’t be the last. Recently, we had a misunderstanding, and I refused to cook for him for about two days. He got angry the next morning and called a van, saying he was packing all the stuff out, that I should go back to my family house since I always boast about the apartment my elder brother got for my mom. He said that before he got the apartment, I was respectful, and ever since we both started living together, my real character has come out and he can’t condone it anymore. I made sure I spoiled his standing fan, the gas cooker, the bed floor, and even threw away the raw rice at home in a way that he won’t pack it back again, because it’s obvious he’s packing those things back to his baby mama’s house. Now I’m back at my mom’s house and I’m facing all sorts of embarrassment from my brother, the rest of my family, and people around.
My brother keeps telling my mom that I won’t give birth in the house he rented for her. I don’t know what to do right now. Should I go back and beg him that I’m sorry for everything, or should I wait for him to come and beg me? And if he doesn’t, should I just face whatever life throws at me and move on with my life, because I know for sure that I’m not wrong? What do I do?
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