I have been married for six years and blessed with a son. My husband controls everything—down to foodstuffs and the baby’s clothes. He buys everything himself, goes to the market himself, and gives me no financial assistance. I complained several times, yet he didn’t change, so I stopped complaining and let him be. I run a small business and buy the things I can for the house while taking care of myself. He’s the type that doesn’t help with chores yet says no to getting a house help without giving any reason. Every time I bring it up, he shuts me down. My mum also begged him, yet he said no. I got a help myself, and he sent her away. I tried getting a live-out help, and he flared up, saying he doesn’t want any outsider in his house and told my mum I was disrespecting him. My son will be three this year, and he’s pressuring me for another baby. I can’t handle two babies alone with my business.
I cook, clean, hand wash every weekend, wash the toilet, do school runs, and take care of our son. I’m always exhausted and losing weight because of the stress, but he doesn’t seem to understand. He’s also the type that commands me to do chores if I leave anything undone. We had an argument last month because I was so exhausted from work and told him I wasn’t cooking. He ate out that night and since then stopped buying foodstuffs. When I asked, he didn’t respond until my sister came to visit. Then he started buying foodstuffs and asked my sister to cook. I don’t eat the food; I usually eat out at my shop. I tried to cook the next day, and he asked me to leave the kitchen or he would beat me up, so I just left and kept my cool. This went on for weeks. Now my other sister is in the hospital, and the one staying with me went to be with her. My husband bought foodstuffs himself and cooked. This makes me very uncomfortable and breaks my heart because he’s trying to make me look irresponsible. How do I handle this?
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