I need some advice please. I’ve only been in one serious relationship back in my uni days. I really loved that girl, but I changed to a professional course that took me longer years to finish and along the line I lost her to another man who was established. Towards my final year, I met another lady. At first, it was just vibes but I later realised she had everything I wanted in a woman: respectful, homely, beautiful, hardworking, and God-fearing. I fell for her but she already had a boyfriend who wasn’t treating her right. I asked her once to leave him but she said it was difficult because he was the one who disvirgined her. Still, she often came around to my place and my friends even thought we were dating. We never got intimate because she said as long as she was with him she couldn’t do that. I respected her for that. During my final exams, I told her I was running out of data and she sent me a subscription so I could keep up with my studies. It wasn’t much but it touched me deeply. Later, she got closer to her boyfriend after he moved to Lagos, started posting his pictures and I couldn’t handle it, so I decided to move on.
Fast forward, I relocated abroad to my dream country, settled quickly and started working. One day, I posted on Instagram and she saw it. She reached out, congratulated me, and told me she had broken up with that guy because of all forms of abuse. Since then, we reconnected and kept talking. I have even sent her over N500k to get tools for her glam studio business since we reconnected. I did that because of that little gesture she showed me years ago and I still have a soft spot for her. The truth is I still love her, but now I’m confused. Am I just a second option? Should I ask her out again or move on? If she accepts me now, does it mean she truly loves me or am I just her backup plan? No man wants to be used as a second option. Honestly, I’m confused. She keeps texting me all the time and complained I don’t give back the same energy. I don’t want to feel like a second option. What do you guys think?
Also read: Please Tell Me If I’m Wrong