I have been with my boyfriend for a while now. When we first started dating, he told me he had only been with two women before me. That wasn’t a problem for me — we all have our pasts. But as our relationship grew more intimate, I began to notice a pattern in our sex life that’s been difficult to ignore. Most of the time, I’m the one doing all the work. Even during d0ggy, I’m the one moving, while he just stays still — either lying down or standing there like he’s not even present. He’s on the heavier side, with a big stomach, but I’ve been with bigger men before who were still active and confident in bed. I’ve tried talking to him about it — gently, because I know he’s insecure about his body. He once said he’s scared he’ll crush me during missionary. I’m average-sized, so I don’t know where that fear comes from. We tried missionary once, about two years ago, and it was honestly uncomfortable for both of us. He couldn’t get the right angle, and even after I propped myself up with pillows, it just wasn’t working. We never tried again.
Part of me wonders if his lack of confidence stems from his size down there — his D is a bit small — and maybe that affects his willingness to try new positions or take control. But I really do love him, and that’s what makes this so hard. I don’t want to hurt him, but I also want better sex. I want to feel desired, not just like I’m doing all the work every time. The thing I even enjoy most is when he fingers me. Even that one, he still does it lying down, and I’m the one that turns to the side. The last time he gave me head was on my birthday. I don’t know how to bring it up again without making him feel worse. But I also don’t want to keep pretending everything is okay when it’s not. I’m stuck between protecting his ego and expressing my own needs — and honestly, I don’t know what to do.
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