This is lengthy, so I am a 32-year-old lady and honestly I am extremely single, like I don’t even have anyone I’m talking to. I usually pray to God to send me my own husband. Yes, I want to get married but there is an issue. Anytime I meet a guy and it starts looking like he is liking me or that I’d like him and it might move far, my heart will start beating fast, fear will overtake me and my body will start shaking. Before you know it, I’d spoil the talking stage. Meeting a new person scares me, like how do I know we’ll even get married, meaning my body count will increase. I’ve tried checking back on some of the guys that I used to talk to when I was younger but most are married. Do you know that when I find out they are married I’d get happy, meaning I’d still be single (this is an anonymous message so I have no reason whatsoever to lie). I just pity my mom, poor woman, because I know she’ll be praying for marriage like crazy. The honest truth is that I stay alone, I have my own money, I take care of myself 1000%, so when I think of getting married and the stress of having to take care of a home and children and childbirth, cooking, and all that, my sisters that are married are so unhappy, same with my friends, so fear grips me.
I’ve become so lazy and comfortable as a single lady and time is going. Like I enjoy my own company so much. I work a hybrid job, and when I’m at home happiness wants to finish me. I don’t even like going out so meeting someone physically is out of the option. I take Uber to work on my workdays and back home. Church is out of it, my church is a small church. My friends don’t bother inviting me out again because they know I won’t go. What do I do? I really want to get married, or could it be because I’ve not met someone I like? And for sex, I have an ex that comes to satisfy me. It’s strictly sex. He has a baby mama and 3 kids and no, it can’t work between us. We don’t even talk. When I’m horny, I chat him, he happily comes to satisfy me and himself and go, no strings attached. What could be causing this fear of marriage? Is it because I have money or is it just pure laziness? And how do I overcome it.
Also read: Grounds For Break Up?