I’m planning on leaving this man for good. I don’t know if he’s cheating because I haven’t caught him yet. He’s nice to me, but there’s a problem! He doesn’t talk about his feelings!!! No, scratch that—he weaponizes his feelings towards me and makes me feel like the bad one. I like having conversations with my man. In fact, let’s just say I love deep conversations. Once in a while, I sit him down and ask questions like: “Is there something you want me to work on about us?” “Are you displeased about this or that?” “Is there something you want to talk about?” And so on. His reply is always “No,” and that’s that. I get that some people don’t like talking about their feelings until they think it’s the right time, but come on. You can act that way towards a less observant woman—not someone who even initiates these discussions!
This man waits until I’m trying to complain about something before he opens his mouth to tell me his issues. For example, I might tell him how painful it was when he ignored me. He’ll say sorry and then follow up with, “That day you ignored me nko?” This makes his apologies sound insincere. To be honest, I might not even notice I did such a thing, but isn’t he supposed to address it when he noticed it? Why withhold it just to use it later as a weapon to discredit how I feel at that moment? This has happened several times, and trust me, it gets worse every time. He bottles up things and weaponizes them. When I ask him why he waits until I complain before telling me his issues, he says, “I don’t read meaning into those things.” If he doesn’t read meaning into them, why use them during a disagreement? I’m just tired, to be honest, and scared at the same time.
He might be angry with me but won’t say a thing! We’ll eat from the same plate and spend time together, but the minute I address an issue, he brings out everything, like it’s a competition. At the end of the day, my issues are ignored, and I’m left wondering why I even spoke up in the first place. It’s draining my energy, and now I’m scared of even talking about anything. Who knows? He might already have a list of things he wants to use to counter whatever I feel at that moment. I don’t feel seen anymore. Please, I need advice because this girl is fed up. I’m so sorry for the long story.
Also Read: Should I Believe Him?